The Night's Not Over
by TeamLove
Summary: "I'd been confident that things would be the same...But when he saw me he smiled, and all that went flying out the window." When Bella falls for her best friend, she finds herself having to decide between hurting her friends...or hurting herself. AU/AH
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

Big shout-out to adailyanthem for beta-ing the first few chapters!

* * *

_Is it fall yet?_

I knew most kids my age desperately clung to the last few days of summer vacation but I was eagerly anticipating the return of the school year. It's not that I hated summer – quite the opposite, actually; the few weeks of warm weather generally helped make up for the endless months of dreary rain and cloud here in Forks, Washington. Of course, spending two weeks in July with my mom in Jacksonville experiencing _real_ summer weather made the Pacific Northwest all the more depressing.

I stared at the scenery whipping past me on the highway. My eyes were unfocused and everything was a blur of lush greens and browns. It was bright out, but the sky was still a uniform grey. I sighed. It wasn't just the grey skies getting me down at that moment. I had spent the last two and a half months without my best friend in the world and I was finally starting to crack. Sure, I had a group of people that I considered friends, as well as a caring boyfriend, but the one person I had the deepest connection with happened to be across the country, apparently having so much fun that he had had no time to call or email me for the better half of the summer.

"Is Edward home yet, Bella?"

_Speak of the devil._

It was Sunday afternoon and we were stuffed in Ben's Neon on our way home from a last minute back-to-school shopping trip in Port Angeles – 'we' being Angela, Ben, Mike, and I. Call it a double date if you will.

"No, Angela, not yet," I replied with a sigh. "He'll be back tomorrow night."

"Oh, wow! He's cutting it close to the start of school, huh? I bet you've really missed him," Angela remarked, turning in the passenger seat to face me.

"Yeah…" Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Mike shift uncomfortably in his seat, so I grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He'd always been jealous of my friendship with Edward, and despite the fact that we had been dating for almost two months those feelings hadn't disappeared. Mike changed the subject.

"I can't believe we'll officially be seniors on Tuesday. One more year and then freedom! Forever!"

Ben grinned. "Well, until we get to college and start the whole thing over again." Everyone laughed as the excitement from Mike's face was quickly wiped away.

It wasn't long until we were pulling into my driveway; I was the first to be dropped off. Mike walked me to the door and pulled me close for a deep kiss. Too deep. I stepped back, embarrassed, as Ben and Angela whooped out the car windows. Mike smiled, said goodnight, and walked back to the car, evidently quite pleased with himself.

-x-

I awoke late the next morning feeling oddly unrested. Though I couldn't remember having dreamt anything in particular, there was a definite sense of uneasiness lingering about. I shook it off and forced myself out of bed. As I stretched my arms as high as they would go, my nose caught the scent of something drifting up from the kitchen. _Bacon!_ I threw on the first pair of jeans and a t-shirt I could find and headed downstairs.

"Dad?" I called as I thumped my way down to the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "Did you make breakfast?"

When I reached the landing I was surprised to find not my father, but a friend, sitting at the kitchen table. He looked up from his plate and grinned. "Bells!"

"Jacob!" I squeaked as he stood and wrapped me in a bone-crushing hug. "It's been so long, how are you?"

"Oh, you know. Same old. Causing mayhem and general disruption, that kind of stuff. I finally managed to finish restoring the Rabbit this summer and I gotta tell you Bells, it's been fucking amazing being able to get away from La Push and Forks whenever I want. Did you know there's actually life beyond this tiny town? Me and Quil and Embry have been getting up to all kinds of ridiculous antics this summer; it's been an absolute blast. It's a shame it has to end so soon! Summer usually goes like that, though, doesn't it? One minute you're tossing your textbooks in the air, the next you're scrambling to get all your pencils and binders and shit in order. But what about you? It must be exciting to know you only have one year left." Jacob said all this very quickly while loading a plate for me with scrambled eggs, toast, and the aforementioned bacon that had smelled so heavenly. I sat down at the table, a little overwhelmed by all this action, and nibbled on a piece of toast.

"I guess I'm excited. The thought of having to actually think ahead and plan for my future now is a little scary, but I'm looking forward to graduating and being done with it all." I scooped a forkful of eggs into my mouth. _Ay dios mio_. They were cheesy. "Did you make all this? I think this might be the best breakfast I've had all year."

"Well, thank you. Of course I made it, do you really think Charlie could have whipped up a feast like this?" I laughed. My dad may have been the respected Chief of Police here in Forks, but he was definitely not known for his culinary prowess. "I stopped by to drop off the fishing gear my dad had borrowed, and before he left for work Charlie suggested I make myself something to eat and wait around for you to wake up. I was beginning to think that might never happen, but I'm glad you decided to finally grace me with your presence."

We bantered back and forth, reminiscing about the good old days as we ate. As a kid, Jacob had been my best friend during the summers I spent here with my father. When I made the decision to move to Forks permanently to start high school, Jacob and I were inseparable for the entire summer. As the years went on, however, we slowly grew apart. I made new friends at Forks High, and he had his gang of good-natured hooligans on the Res. Nowadays I was lucky to see him once every couple months for more than a few minutes, but I still considered him one of my favourite people around.

"Talk to Edward lately?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't get me started on that boy. Apparently he's been spending his summer in the Hamptons forgetting all about us little people back home. We e-mailed back and forth at the beginning of the summer, but I haven't heard from him since July! I've heard from Alice, but Edward? Not one e-mail, not one postcard, not even a text message for Christ's sake."

"Bah, who needs him? I hear you're dating Mike Newton, though. How's that going?" I could tell Jacob had been dying to get the scoop on my love life. He may have been one of the manliest sixteen year olds around, but there was no doubt that Jacob Black was a sucker for gossip.

"It's okay."

"Just okay? Uh oh. Trouble in paradise, Miss Swan?" he teased.

"No, it's not that." I paused. "Well, I don't know. There's not really a 'paradise' to speak of. Mike is a nice boy, and we have a lot of fun together—" I couldn't help but wince as I thought of Mike's overzealous use of tongue during our kiss last night, and how that hadn't been the first time he'd attempted to play a solo game of tonsil hockey in my mouth. "Um, most of the time. He treats me well, and he's way funnier than I thought."

"But…"

"But nothing, Jake! Mike is my boyfriend. We are happy together. End of story. I don't like talking about these things." I loaded our now-empty plates into the dishwasher as Jacob pouted.

"Ahh, you're no fun. Where's the juicy scandal, the sordid affairs? Come on Bells, you've got to give me something to work with!"

I turned to Jacob, smiling sweetly. "Jacob, dear, I think it's a good thing school starts tomorrow, because you've clearly been rotting your brain with too much daytime television." Jacob narrowed his eyes and glared at me before his lips quivered and he burst into laughter.

Jacob left shortly thereafter and I kept myself busy for the rest of the afternoon organizing the vast array of school supplies I'd picked up in Port Angeles the day before. As I absentmindedly loaded paper into binders and sharpened pencil crayons, my mind wandered to Edward. He and I had bonded quickly on our first day at Forks High when we discovered that in a school filled with people who had known each other all their lives, we were the only two who didn't know a single other soul. Well, Edward had his brother and sister, Emmett and Alice, but it wasn't quite the same. I explained how I had grown up in Arizona and when my mom remarried and decided to relocate to Florida, I'd figured it was as good a time as any to get to know Charlie better. He told me of his family moving from Alaska when his doctor father had been offered the position of Chief Medical Officer at Forks Community Hospital. We became fast friends, with his fraternal twin sister Alice rounding out the trio. Despite the inevitable rumours of romance between Edward and I that surfaced from time to time, our friendship had never been anything but platonic. We had never had a serious fight or gone more than a week without speaking in the three years we'd been best friends. But now…who knew?

-x-

I finished packing my schoolbag and set it aside for the next morning. Realizing Charlie would be home from work soon, I put together a quick dinner of spaghetti and meatballs. As usual, we ate in near silence. Charlie and I got along great, but neither of us were the chatty type. I finished my meal quickly before mumbling something about wanting to get a good night's sleep, and escaping upstairs. I took a quick shower, blow-dried my hair, and got into my pajamas. I crossed the hall to my bedroom, warm and sleepy, looking forward to settling in with the novel I was currently working on and reading until I couldn't keep my eyes open a minute longer. But of course, nothing in my life ever goes as planned.

Sitting on my open windowsill—for years it had been his preferred means of entering and exiting my room—was Edward Cullen.

Part of me was ecstatic to see him; I had so much to share about my summer and I was simply dying to know what he had gotten up to with his family at their summer home in East Hampton. The other part of me, the more realistic part, was furious that he had thought it acceptable to go an entire month and a half without responding to my letters. At least he had the good sense to look sheepish as I crossed my arms and stared him down.

"Hi," he said softly, not quite meeting my eyes.

"Hi."

"How are you?"

I shrugged. I was not going to make this easy for him.

"Look, Bella, I'm sorry I stopped writing," he started, but I cut him off.

"You'd better be goddamn sorry! It's not a good feeling, you know, having your best friend ignore you." I shut the door behind me and sat on my bed with my back to the window. Staring straight ahead, I felt him take a seat next to me.

"I'm sorry," he said again, this time in a voice just barely above a whisper. It seemed like he meant it. I slowly turned to face him. His green eyes were full of anguish. How could I stay mad when he looked at me like that?

"Whatever. I'm glad you're back. I missed you, you jerk," I said, bumping his shoulder with my own. With that, Edward smiled in relief and put his arms around me in a hug that I only half-heartedly returned.

"I missed you, too," he sighed, letting go of me.

"Yeah, yeah. Now tell me all about your summer before I change my mind and kick you out."

"There's not a whole lot to tell. Spent a lot of time with family, mostly. Reconnected with a few old friends. The whole thing was fairly uneventful."

"Sounds like you would have had some time to write."

Edward looked away. "It was tough getting a moment to myself."

"Oh."

"How was your summer?"

"Uneventful as well."

"Oh."

"You're still white as hell," I said, noting his lack of tan. We were all pale in Forks, but a vacation usually meant acquiring some colour.

He shrugged. "SPF 60."

We sat staring at each other for a moment until a shrill ringing cut through the silence. Edward removed his phone from his pocket and glanced down at the screen. When he saw who was calling him the corners of his mouth pulled upward into a small smile. He excused himself and crawled out my window and onto the roof to take the call.

"Hey, you…no, it's not too late…I'm, um, just hanging out at home…Yeah, sure, I'll tell them you said hi…I miss you already, too…Okay, I'll talk to you later…Love you, too. 'Night."

When Edward returned, I faced him with raised eyebrows. "Who was that?"

Just as he had earlier, he looked away before answering. "That was Tanya. She's sort of my…girlfriend."

I leaned against my headboard, taking that information in. With the exception of the week-long relationship he'd had with Jessica Stanley in the 10th grade, Edward had never had a girlfriend before. I swallowed the lump in my throat—_Why was that even there?_—and asked my next question.

"How do you know her?"

"She's a friend of the family. She lives in San Francisco, but her family has a summer house down the street from ours. It's been a few years since we've been there at the same time, but since we were both out for the whole summer we ended up spending a lot of time together. You'd like her, Bella," he added, finally looking up at me.

"I'm sure I would." The sentence came out colder than I had meant it to. I wanted to apologize but couldn't find the words. So I stared down and smoothed a non-existent wrinkle out of my purple duvet.

"Yeah. Well…I should get going. I'll see you at school tomorrow?" he asked hopefully as he stood and headed for the window. I nodded. He smiled and climbed out the window, hopped down from the roof, and disappeared into the night.

I exhaled slowly and hugged my knees to my chest, willing this feeling to go away. I didn't understand what it was. I should have been happy for Edward, but instead I was feeling a twinge of…what, _jealousy_? Why would I be jealous? I squeezed my eyes shut, searching my mind for an answer. Then it hit me. Of _course_ I was jealous. This mystery girl had spent every minute of summer vacation with _my_ best friend, while I sat around in this Podunk town waiting in vain to hear from him. I'd never had to 'share' Edward before. It had always been just the two of us. I knew it was unrealistic to think that things would never change, but I wasn't quite satisfied with that conclusion. All of a sudden I felt very uncomfortable with the thought of exploring other options. Pushing everything from my mind, I shut off the lights and crawled into bed.

It took me a long time to fall asleep, and when I did I felt no better than I had when I'd woken up that morning.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!** I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, please review and let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

"I mean, if we're going to be forced to be in this place for seven hours a day, we should at least be able to spend as much time as possible with each other while we're here. How is this even possible? Our entire class is only what, 70 people?"

It was 8:20am and Mike was escorting me to first period English. He had just discovered that we only had one class together this semester—History with Mr. Jefferson, not for another two whole hours—and he was not too pleased about it.

"Mike, don't worry about it. I see you before class. I see you between classes. I see you at lunch. I see you after school. I think we'll make it."

Just a few feet from my class, we stopped. Mike stood facing me, but something down the hall caught his eye and he stared past me. I turned around to see what was up, and when I saw that it was Edward who was approaching I smiled. As I opened my mouth to greet him, Mike territorially placed an arm around my shoulders.

"Cullen." I looked up at Mike. His facial expression seemed amiable enough, but his terse greeting said otherwise.

"Hi, Edward." I didn't mean for them to, but my words came out in the same clipped tone Mike had used.

Edward's eyes moved from Mike, to me, to Mike's hand on my shoulder. "Good morning, Bella," he said. "Hello, Mike."

I knew we'd be standing here all day if I didn't say something. "Um, I should get to class."

"Yeah. Me, too." Mike shot a pointed glance at Edward and leaned down to kiss me. "I'll see you at lunch."

I was so not used to this PDA thing. My face flushing, I quickly walked into the room and sat down. Edward followed and took a seat directly behind me. Shortly thereafter, Mr. Berty called the class to order and began outlining the semester's curriculum.

"_What_ was _that_?" Edward practically hissed his question. He had leaned over his desk and was now only inches from my ear.

I knew it was coming, but I was not prepared for this discussion so I feigned ignorance. "What are you talking about?"

"You and _Mike Newton_? You cannot be serious."

I felt heat rise to my cheeks again, though this time I was not embarrassed. Something about Edward's tone made me angry. "_Yes_, me and _Mike Newton_. For your information, I happen to really like him."

"That's not what you were saying last year."

"Things change, okay? He was there for me this summer when you weren't. Why do you even care?"

Silence. Then, "Bella, you're my best friend. Of course I care. I just need to make sure you're being treated right." Uh oh. He sounded hurt. I had no idea why I was being so antagonistic when he was only trying to scope out the situation. Up until this morning, as far as Edward knew, I still loathed Mike.

Last year, before he and Jessica had gotten together, Mike had been slightly obsessed with me. Back then I found his persistence downright annoying, and I never had any trouble making it clear how little I appreciated his advances.

I took a slow, calming breath. "I'm sorry. I know. Let's talk about this later, okay?"

-x-

I was in a much better mood by the time lunch rolled around. Grabbing a veggie plate and water bottle from the lunch line, I scanned the cafeteria and was pleased to find my friends sitting at our usual table. They were arranged as I expected. With Angela, Ben, Jessica, Eric, Lauren, her boyfriend Tyler, and Mike at one end, with an empty seat clearly intended for me separating them from Edward, Alice, and her boyfriend Jasper. Although both groups were friendly towards each other, they had never quite managed to merge. Edward, Jasper, and Alice had always preferred to keep to themselves. I suspected that if it weren't for me acting as a bridge of sorts, those three wouldn't socialize at all.

I took my seat between Mike and Edward. _Perfect_, I thought dryly. Mike kissed me on the cheek in greeting. Alice's eyebrows rose in surprise, but I shot a quick look her way that kept her from voicing her shock. The last thing I wanted was more attention drawn to me and Mike.

"How have your classes been so far, Bella?" Angela asked.

"Pretty good. Mr. Varner is teaching Calculus, which kind of blows, but at least I've got Jessica to keep me company."

Jessica laughed. "You remember how bad I was at trig last year, right? You might not want to associate with me once word gets around that my calculus skills are no better."

With a nudge from Lauren, Tyler spoke next. "Edward, Alice, how was your summer?"

Alice's face lit up. "It was a blast! The weather was great almost the entire time we were there, so we spent at least four days a week at the beach. I'd forgotten how nice it is to be on a private beach; public ones can get so crowded and I can never completely relax since I know I could be hit by a volleyball at any moment. Emmett came out for a couple weeks, but he wanted some time to settle into his new place in Seattle before starting at U-Dub," she said, referring to the eldest Cullen sibling, who had graduated from Forks in June. "We went to a few parties too, but most of them were kind of a drag. In the Hamptons, it seems like all the kids our age are of the trust fund variety. There's a lot of talk of boarding schools and Bimmers, and apparently their main idea of fun is doing cocaine and pissing their parents off. If I hadn't had Jasper, and Edward hadn't had his new lady friend, we might have all died of boredom." She shrugged and returned to her sandwich, completely oblivious to the fact that her last sentence had Jessica and Lauren gawking at Edward, mouths agape, as he suddenly became very interested in his lunch.

Not wanting to hear more about this _lady friend_, I changed the subject to Lauren's new hair cut. I plastered a smile on my face and pretended to be interested as she blathered on about how she'd wanted to get serious about modeling so when an agent approached her at a mall and assured her that fame and fortune would follow an edgy haircut, she immediately found the closest salon and had the majority of it chopped off. As much as I was not fond of Lauren Mallory and her constant need for attention, I had to admit she looked gorgeous. Her pale blonde hair, previously long and layered, was now stylishly cropped close to her head. It was very Twiggy-esque and she knew it.

Before anyone had a chance to get a word in edgewise, the bell rang, letting us all off the hook.

The rest of the day, though monotonous, flew by fairly quickly. Before I knew it, the day was over, and Alice and I left Spanish together.

"Come over to _mi casa_. We can have some good old-fashioned girl talk."

"That sounds great; Charlie won't be home until late tonight and I've been dying to catch up. It was a long summer without you and Edward around!"

"I missed you too. How should we do this? Do you want to drop your truck off at your place and ride with me, or just go separately?"

I shook my head as we reached our lockers—we had lucked out and were right next to each other. "I'll have to ride with you from here. My truck finally died last week; Jacob did all he could but the replacement parts would cost way more than it's worth."

"I'm so sorry to hear that! That old hunk of junk was endearing, in a way…" Alice wrinkled her nose and smiled. My beloved red '53 Chevy had been Charlie's 16th birthday present for me, and even though it had served me well for the past year I couldn't deny it was not without its faults. Most irritatingly, its stubborn inability to reach speeds higher than 55MPH. "Are you going to get a new car?"

"Yeah, hopefully soon. Charlie offered to match whatever I could come up with, and that paired with what I saved from working with Mike at the Newtons' store this summer should be enough to get me a fairly decent used car."

"Did I hear my name?" Mike said, having just appeared from around the corner.

"I was just telling Alice about my vehicular woes."

"Woes? You say it like it's a _bad_ thing that old rust bucket finally, well, kicked the bucket. Speaking of, did you still need me to give you a lift home? I was thinking we could grab a bite…or something." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Alice busied herself in her locker in an attempt to keep her composure.

I tried not to roll my eyes. "Um, sorry, Mike; I'm actually going over to the Cullens'." Mike's face fell. "It's just, you know, I haven't seen Alice since June and we really need some girl time."

"No, no, I understand. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," I smiled at him and raised myself up on my toes for a quick peck on the lips. "Tomorrow."

When Mike was out of earshot, Alice slammed her locker shut and turned to me. "_That_," she said, nodding in Mike's direction, "is going to be discussed this afternoon. Do me a favour and go find my brother; I'm going to say bye to Jasper. Meet you at the car!"

Edward was closing his locker and slinging his backpack over his shoulder when I approached him. "Hey," I started. "I'm catching a ride with you and Alice today, she invited me over."

"Cool." He started walking towards the exit. _Oh, fantastic. He's still weirded out by what he saw this morning. I am _so _not looking forward to this impending conversation._

By the time Alice had joined us and we were in the Volvo, things were back to normal.

"I see your driving habits haven't changed a bit," I huffed as we flew north up the 101, double checking the security of my seat belt. Edward grinned and looked at me in the rearview mirror.

"What are you two ladies going to do this afternoon? Giggle and gossip? Paint each others' nails?"

"No," I said at the same time as Alice enthusiastically cried, "Yes!" We burst out laughing and Edward simply shook his head at our silliness.

Before I knew it we were stepping out of the Volvo and heading towards the front door of the Cullens' house. The casual observer would never guess that this family was humble and gracious, and I couldn't blame them for it. First, there was the 'cozy' 5-bedroom summer home in one of the most expensive vacation spots in the country—though, to their credit, it was inherited and they did help with costs by renting it out during the months they were in Forks. The Cullen house was more of a mansion, really, hidden deep within the forest on the outskirts of town. It was set back quite a way from the road, down a long and winding driveway. The ceilings were high and the rooms were spacious, but the most impressive feature was without a doubt the glass wall spanning the entire southern end of the house. The three-car garage housed Dr. Carlisle Cullen's black Mercedes, Edward's silver Volvo, and, before he had moved, Edward's brother Emmett's red Jeep Wrangler. There was no denying they were wealthy, but you couldn't hold it against them. Although they enjoyed the comforts they could afford, the Cullens were not elitists nor did they boast about their luxuries.

As soon as we had entered the grand foyer and kicked off our boots, Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs.

"Emergency girl talk, we'll hang later!" Alice called to Edward over her shoulder. He shrugged and headed for the kitchen.

I sat on Alice's bed, which was outfitted in a bold black-and-white damask pattern, and looked around at the familiar surroundings. The décor was just about as tranquil as Alice was—the walls were painted in wide vertical stripes of fuchsia and purple and were bare but for a large full-size gold-framed mirror next to the white closet door. I knew that just beyond that innocent-looking door lay a vast, intimidating jungle of clothing and shoes.

Alice settled in the plush black chair at her vanity and fixed a slightly evil smile on me. "Let's get right to it. What's going on with you and the most popular boy in town?"

"Nothing…well, I mean, we're dating. He asked me out about a month and a half ago."

"_And?_"

"And…and what? It's great."

"You disappoint me, Bella. I need more info than that! How did this all begin?"

I resigned myself to the fact that she would not give up. "Mike and Jessica broke up just after school got out last year. We've always been friendly to one another, and when he told me he still had feelings for me and asked me to dinner, I said yes. He'd grown significantly less…pathetic, for lack of a better word. I think he got over his obsession and realized I'm actually, you know, a person. So I gave him a chance and I found myself really liking the time I spent with him."

Alice leaned forward. "Is he a good kisser?"

"Alice!"

"Come on, we're girls! It's natural to discuss this kind of stuff."

"Um, yeah, it's great. It's not like I have a whole lot of experience in that department, but I do enjoy kissing him—except when he gets too eager with the tongue."

"I know how that is! So gross. I'm lucky that Jasper isn't that way."

"How was it, having him around all summer?"

"Amazing! Well, it wasn't much of a difference from how things usually are. He's here almost every single day now. My parents don't even mind when he stays overnight. Of course, they never had a reason to worry before…"

"Before?" I caught sight of a faint blush in Alice's cheeks and gasped. "You didn't—no way!"

She nodded, looking slightly embarrassed but equally exhilarated. "I did."

"_And?" _I questioned, mimicking her.

"It. Was. _Great!_" Alice burst out excitedly, then thought for a minute before adding, "And kind of awkward. And painful. And sweaty; definitely sweaty. The first few times, anyways. After that, everything got kind of dreamy…" She trailed off, a dazed look in her eyes.

I tossed a pillow at her to break her from her spell. "You tart!" I teased.

"Can you blame me? Jasper and I are young, cute, and in love. And we had a king-sized bed at our disposal. Come on, this had been three years in the making. We could only continue the foreplay for so long. I'm sure you and Mike would have done the same thing under the circumstances!"

An image of Mike and I rolling about in a bed flashed through my mind and I felt queasy. I laughed nervously and tried to shake it off. "Or not! He got to second base once—by accident, mind you—and that was terrifying enough! I don't think of that kind of stuff."

"Maybe that's a good thing. These days it's about all I can think of! Heed my words, Isabella Swan: Hold on tight to your virtue, lest you become a sex-crazed maniac such as myself!" She dramatically flung her hand to her forehead and sighed.

"Oh yeah, I'm in real danger of that." Looking around the room, I noticed a new photo had been framed and placed on the bedside table. I reached over and examined it. Staring back at me were four people, three of whom were very familiar. The picture had been taken on a beach; with Alice, Jasper, Edward, and another girl, sitting on a large piece of driftwood looking like they were having the time of their lives. I looked closely at the girl, but couldn't quite make out her features as her hair was under a large sun hat and her face was obscured by a pair of dark sunglasses. "Is this Edward's—um, is this that girl I've been hearing about?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Tanya Kovac. We've known each other for as long as I can remember. Our families go back, and I mean _way_ back. You know how our summer home has been in the family for, like, a hundred years?"—I nodded—"Same deal with the Kovacs; they're two doors down from us. Since we're usually only there for a week or two in the summer and both families have different schedules, it had been a couple years since we'd seen them. This year, however, we were all out there for the whole summer. I must say it was _lovely_ getting to know her better."

"You don't like her?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Not since she stole my boyfriend when we were seven."

I smiled. "I hope you kept her away from Jasper, in that case."

"I didn't have to worry about that; his type is petite, dark-haired, and a little crazy." Alice laughed. "I'll start worrying when human cloning is perfected."

"And what 'type' is Tanya?"

"She's pretty, I suppose, if you're into that sort of look. Very —you know, classic, preppy, put-together. Bland as hell, basically. She goes to some yuppie private school in San Francisco and is apparently Harvard-bound. Hobbies include tennis and yachting and generally being a big fat bore." Alice slowly twirled her finger in the air, obviously not impressed.

"She sounds like tons of fun." My thoughts turned to Edward. He'd always eschewed girls like Tanya in favour of girls like—well, girls like me. The kind of girl who didn't mind getting dirty while camping and would rather spend time reading a classic piece of literature than _People _or _Vogue_. The kind of girl that Tanya would probably look down her rhinoplasty-perfect nose at. _Who knows? Maybe he's that type after all. Men have a tendency to be attracted to rich, pretty, smart girls, right? I'm sure he has more in common with her than anyone in Forks._ "So what's Edward see in her?"

Alice scoffed. "Damned if I know. He claims to love her intelligence and charm, but I just don't see how he can actually enjoy spending time with her. It's so not like him." She sharpened her focus on me. "What's with all the questions? Why haven't you asked Edward? You two are even closer than you and I are."

I shrugged. "I can't quite put my finger on it, but things seem different between us. I know it's only been a day, but I feel like he's been distant."

Alice stood up. "I have just the solution for that!" She marched over to the door, flung it open, and headed for the stairs, beckoning me with a finger. We walked down into the living room where we found Edward sprawled out on a leather couch, absorbed in a book. Alice hopped onto the back of the couch, sitting with her feet on his chest and a huge grin on her face. "Hey, little brother! Us women-folk got bored and have come to grace you with our presence."

"Fantastic. And you're only ten minutes older than me, so you can quit it with the big sister act. Besides," he said, shaking Alice off and getting to his feet, "it's kind of hard to think of me as 'little' when compared to you."

Edward was right. Standing at a lean but muscular 6'2", he towered over Alice's tiny 5'0" frame. Factor in Edward's bronze hair and Alice's dark chestnut hair, and it was hard to see them as siblings, let alone twins. The only thing that could potentially give them away as such were their matching pale green eyes.

"Whatever. I—oops, hold on, my butt is vibrating." Alice fished her phone out of the back pocket of her jeans. "It's Jasper! Hey honey, what'cha wearing?"

Edward's arrogant expression twisted into one of horror. He stuck his fingers in his ears. "La la la! I can't hear you!"

Alice flipped her brother the bird, winked, and made her exit to the kitchen for some privacy. Edward breathed a small sigh of relief and sat back down on the couch, where I joined him.

"Can you believe her? As if I want to picture my _sister_…" He shook his head as if to physically rid himself of whatever thought was trying to force its way into his mind. "I think of Jasper like a brother; I definitely do not need to be hearing about his 'totally hot bod'."

I squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, that's what I'm for."

"Oh, God. Is that what you guys were talking about? No, don't tell me. I don't want to know."

I mimed closing a zipper across my mouth. "My lips are sealed."

"Actually," he said, turning to me with a mischievous grin, "unzip those lips. I believe we have a conversation to finish."

I ran the zipper back across my lips. "About Mike?"

"About Mike."

"I just talked about this with Alice; I'm not really in the mood to rehash it all. I will answer one question. What do you want to know?"

Edward placed a long finger to his lips and closed his eyes as if deep in thought. Without moving, he asked, "Why?"

No one had really asked me that before. I stalled. "Why what?"

"Why Mike Newton?"

"Let's see. After having been all but abandoned by my best friend over the summer, I was feeling a bit lonely. I found myself spending a lot of time with Mike, Angela, and Jessica. I realized that Mike was no longer harboring any obsessive, love-sick fantasies and that he really genuinely liked me. I thought, hey, here's this guy, who is nice and cute and funny and treats me well, why shouldn't I date him? And that was that."

Edward remained silent. Then, "I know I already said it, but I still feel terrible. I'm sorry for being incommunicado for so long. I wasn't thinking of how much it would hurt you, and you know how much I hate hurting you." Edward placed a hand on my knee and smiled slowly. "And with Mike, if you're happy, I'm happy. I only want the best for you."

I returned his smile. "I know. I've already forgotten it. And I'm happy for you and Tanya. How is it, the long-distance thing?"

"It's not so bad. We talk on the phone a lot, and we both have webcams. When we can see each other we don't feel quite so far apart. Visits aren't too impossible, either; San Francisco's only about a ten hour drive away. Normally I wouldn't want to do the long-distance thing, especially since we're young and haven't been dating all that long, but I need to try. She's worth it."

I nodded, but didn't say any more, not wanting to continue the conversation. I was feeling very uncomfortable all of a sudden. _Why does that keep happening? One minute we're getting along just fine, the next I want to run from the room as fast as I can. _Luckily, there was no need to fill the quietude with any more questions as Alice returned to the living room, evidently having finished her conversation with Jasper. She hopped onto the sofa across from me and Edward and sighed as she observed my rigid posture and the tangible silence hanging in the vast empty space of the room.

"Did I just miss something awkward?"

* * *

**Thanks for reading!** Please let me know what you thought of this chapter :)


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thanks for all your feedback so far! I really enjoy hearing what you lovely people think of my humble little story. Your comments and constructive criticism are encouraged and appreciated!

Being the fashion addict I am, I've been creating relevant outfits for a Polyvore collection, the link to which you can find on my profile. So far I have typical school outfits for Bella, Alice, and Edward, and the outfit that Bella wears later on in this chapter. Don't worry, you won't find any floor-length khaki skirts here ;)

* * *

I laughed nervously and my next words came out in a rush.

"What? Awkward? No! We were just chatting."

Alice looked from Edward, who was oblivious to any discomfort, to me, sitting stiffly upright with a toothy smile on my face. She seemed unconvinced. "Fine, keep your secrets. We need to get planning!"

"Planning?" I asked.

"Oh my gosh, Bella. As if I could forget it's your birthday next week!"

I cringed inwardly. I despised being the centre of attention, making my birthday an annual nightmare. "I don't want a party."

"I know, I know. I've resigned myself to the fact that you seem to be missing the party gene. That's why I thought this year we could keep it simple—dinner with a small, intimate group. Me, you, Edward, Mike, Jasper, Angela, Ben, Jessica, Eric, and Lauren and Tyler, too, I suppose. What do you think?"

I looked to Edward. He smirked, knowing that I would never be able to resist Alice's ardor. He was right. "That sounds good. Where should we go?"

"I've already made reservations at the Wildfire Grill in Port Angeles. Jasper took me there when we first started dating and it was indescribable."

_Leave it to Alice to organize everything before I'd even said yes_, I thought, though I wasn't upset. Living in a town as small and dead as Forks, one never turned down the opportunity to get out for a night. Even if it was to celebrate me.

-x-

The first week of school flew by quickly and ended on a high note. On Friday afternoon, Charlie surprised me at school and took me to a dealership in Tacoma to pick out a car. It would have been the understatement of the year to say I was elated. With our combined funds I was able to get a Prius that was only a few years old. It was a bright cherry red, which I felt was a fitting tribute to the old Chevy. Its hybrid status was more of a tribute to the environment. I probably owed Mother Nature big time, considering my truck only got a tenth of the miles per gallon the new car did. In all honesty I would have been happy with another junker as long as it meant I didn't have to rely on Mike and Charlie for rides anymore. I'd always valued my freedom, and not having my own wheels, even for just a few weeks, grew old fast.

Tuesday arrived all too soon. It was September 13th and I was officially seventeen. Unfortunately, at Forks High a birthday generally meant public humiliation in the form of a round of Happy Birthday sung by the entire cafeteria, and Charlie had always been adamantly against the idea of letting me stay home as a present. At least the weather was cooperating; it was only slightly overcast and a hint of summer warmth still lingered in the air.

Charlie greeted me warily as I entered the kitchen. "Happy birthday, kiddo."

I was shocked. Sitting on the table, waiting for me, was a stack of pancakes with a solitary yellow candle in the centre.

"Dad, you cooked?"

"It's just out of the box. Don't worry, I did a taste-test and so far I'm still standing."

I was touched. I knew how much he loathed cooking. "Wow, thanks!" I sat down and blew out the candle.

"What did you wish for?"

I smiled and cut myself a large piece. "A delicious breakfast." Shoving the syrupy pancake into my mouth, I added, "I got my wish."

Charlie coughed and looked out the window. "I'm glad you like it." He grabbed his jacket and moved for the front door. "Oh, before I forget—Alice called, she said she and Edward would be stopping by to drive you to school."

"What? Why?"

"I'm not sure, just passing along the message. I don't think you'll be able to argue the point with her. Well, have a good day at school." With that, Charlie left for work.

I sighed and resumed eating. I was not looking forward to stepping back into the role of passenger.

At 8 o'clock on the dot, the familiar silver Volvo drove up to where I was waiting at the end of the driveway with my bag in hand. Settling into the passenger seat—Alice was already in the back—I buckled my seatbelt and asked, "So, what's the deal?"

Edward grinned but kept his eyes on the road as he pulled onto the highway. "What do you mean? Can't two people offer to drive their friend to school on her birthday?"

I glanced back at Alice, who shrugged in innocence and said, "Happy birthday! We got you something. Well, a couple things, actually, but you'll get your first present at school. I think you'll like it."

"You didn't have to do that; you know I don't like when people spend money on me."

"Have no fear, this present didn't cost us a dime."

My curiosity was piqued. "What is it?"

Edward fielded this question. "One full school day with no mention of your birthday. No singing at lunch, no decorated locker, nothing."

I let that sink in. This was my least favourite day of the year, not because I was getting older, but because of the attention it brought. To be able to spend my birthday out of the limelight would be heavenly. "Really? That would be incredible. How did you do it?"

Edward laughed. "Oh, I have my ways."

When we arrived at school, Alice pulled me back while Edward walked ahead of us into the building. "Be nice to everyone today," she said in a low voice. "I'm pretty sure Edward threatened a few of your more eager friends."

This became abundantly clear when, having collected my books for my first class from my locker, I looked up and found Mike staring at me tentatively from across the hall. I waved him over and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

"It's okay, you can say it," I said. "Just once."

"Are you sure? Edward said you didn't want me to."

"Do you see Edward here? No. Just say it. Not too loud though, I wouldn't want anyone to get any ideas."

He looked relieved. "Happy birthday, Bella."

The day went as smoothly as I could have hoped. I even managed to shake off any lingering feelings of paranoia by the time lunch was over. _I definitely owe Edward for this one. I think this may just be my best birthday yet—and that's saying something._

When Edward and Alice drove me home, they told me that the remainder of my presents, both from them and the rest of my friends, were waiting inside.

"You can thank us at dinner!" Alice teased as I got out of the car. I was solaced only by the fact that I wouldn't have to worry about putting on an excited face as I opened the gifts. It was something I was horrible at; even if I genuinely enjoyed the present, my reaction always seemed so fake. If there was one thing I disliked more than receiving presents, it was making others feel bad.

I stepped inside and kicked my shoes off. Entering the kitchen, I saw the pile of wrapped boxes on the table. I sat down and picked up the nearest one. _Might as well get this over with now._

Ten minutes later I was almost finished. Thus far I had unwrapped a box set of Jane Austen books from Angela and Ben; a makeup kit from Lauren and Tyler; the DVD of Heathers and some novelty bandages from Eric; a custom-made nameplate necklace from Mike, which I immediately put on; and a framed picture of Alice, Jasper, Edward, and I from Jasper. There was one item left—an envelope. I opened it and withdrew the piece of paper folded up inside. There was just one sentence written on it, in what I recognized as Alice's feminine writing:

_Go to your car._

Perplexed, I walked outside to the Prius. _Hmm, it still _looks_ the same_. Opening the driver's side door, I got in and immediately realized what my present was. I gasped, my hands flying to my face in shock.

_No. They didn't. No freakin' way._

It was a new stereo. The car had come with the basic stock cassette player, which was still was more than my old truck had. This was a modern hybrid vehicle with a touch-screen display; one would assume it would come equipped with a CD player by default. I ran my hand over the glossy console, pausing briefly at the shiny red bow adorning it.

It took me a minute before I noticed that on the passenger seat was a small package with another envelope on top. Unfolding the enclosed letter, I read it with my hands slightly trembling. Again, it was from Alice:

_Okay, don't kill us! We know this is a bigger present than you'd ever wish for, but too bad—it's already installed so you can't return it. Ha! This was a collaborative family effort. Even Charlie helped—he lent us the spare key—and Carlisle had Emmett on the phone to walk him through the installation._

_Edward got you a little something extra. I think you'll like it._

_Love,_

_Alice, Edward, Carlisle, and Esme._

_P.S. Emmett sends his warmest wishes!_

I was at a complete loss for words and grateful to be alone so I could process it all. Part of me was furious that they'd spend so much time and money on me, but the other part was ecstatic. This was the perfect gift. I hated driving in silence, and since it wasn't 1995 I didn't own any cassette tapes and would have been stuck with the radio. Forks only received a pitiful three stations, two being adult contemporary and the other consisting of NPR programs and classical music. Not exactly my cup of tea.

Edward's gift was a CD and was accompanied by yet another note, short and sweet, in his precise handwriting:

_Remember this?_

_Happy birthday._

_Edward._

I turned the jewel case over and scanned the track listing. _I can't believe he remembered this._ Smiling to myself, I reflected upon on all the afternoons Edward and I had spent listening to music he'd chosen carefully from his intimidating collection. When we had first become friends, Edward was horrified to learn that I had little to no knowledge of music outside of the Top 40 and immediately set out to educate me. The very first album we had listened to together was the same one I was holding in my hands.

A knock on the window jerked me back to the present and nearly sent me into cardiac arrest. Snapping my head up, I saw Jacob Black standing outside the car with a rather amused look on his face.

"Earth to Bella!" he said, his voice muffled by the glass separating us.

I opened the door a bit too quickly and smacked his legs. "Shit, sorry, Jake!"

Rubbing his thigh, Jacob laughed. "Geez, I come over to wish you a happy birthday and this is how I'm treated?"

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

"Sure, sure." He took my hand and helped me out of my seat. "Nice ride."

"What, this old thing?" I ran my hand along the roof, stroking the flawless cherry red paintjob. "It'll do, I guess."

"Ha, very funny. Can I give you my present now?"

_More presents? Just when I thought it was over…_ "Jake, please, I don't know if I can take any more—"

"Oh shush. It's not like that." He stepped forward, closing the distance between us, and wrapped me up in his strong arms. We embraced for around thirty seconds before slowly pulling away. Jacob's hugs were the best—familiar and safe, and I knew they were never anything but platonic.

Jacob looked at me shyly. "There. Because I know you like hugs and I know you don't like people spending money on you."

A warm smile broke out across my face. "You know me so well. Listen, I'm going into Port Angeles for dinner with a few friends. You should come with."

Jacob wrinkled his nose at that idea. "I love you like a sister, Bells, but even that isn't enough to make me endure a meal with those people."

I nodded, fully understanding. Jacob had met most of my friends on a number of occasions, mostly when we had gone down to the beach at La Push. A couple people in particular—who shall remain nameless—had shown their lack of education regarding Native Americans and life on a reservation in general, and it had not won him over. A sudden memory caused me to burst out into laughter.

"Remember—remember when Jessica and Lauren asked you about that old Quileute legend and you convinced them you were—you were—you—you—" I couldn't get the words past my sputtering lips. I was laughing so hard I was doubled over in agony, one hand on the car for support and the other holding my abdomen together, and tears were streaming down my face.

Luckily, Jacob knew what I was referring to, and immediately he, too, was positively howling with laughter. "I told them we were actually wolves! And they bought it!" He leaned against the car with me and I could feel the vibrations caused by his mirth.

When our outburst had subsided to giggles and then stopped completely, Jacob made his leave, giving me a friendly kiss on the forehead and promising to stop by soon. Although I was sad to see him go, it allowed me to get ready for dinner at a leisurely pace. After a hot shower, I flipped through the items in my closet. Jacob's visit had put me in such a cheery mood that I decided to put some effort into my outfit. _Alice won't believe it_, I thought with a grin as I put on a lacy black sleeveless top, black jeans, and black patent leather flats. I released my hair from the loose bun I had it in and tousled my messy waves into place.

I figured if I'd already gone this far I might as well throw a bit of makeup on to complete the look, and ran downstairs to get the kit that Lauren and Tyler had given me. Encased in the nylon pouch was mascara, eyeliner, lip gloss, and a small palette of eye shadows. Faced with all this choice, I began to regret my decision. _Okay, Bella, let's not do anything crazy, now_, my inner voice advised. I opted to stick with a light coat of mascara and skip the sticky gloss in favour of my trusty Burt's Bees lip balm.

Stepping back to inspect myself in my full-length mirror, I couldn't help but notice how much I had changed in the past couple years. It wasn't that long ago that I would never have been caught in such a trendy outfit. My disinterest in fashion was mostly due to being outright overwhelmed by the sheer amount of variety and ever-changing trends. My usual uniform of a t-shirt, hoodie, and jeans was much safer. Still, it was great to have nicer pieces to switch it up once in a while. Becoming closer with Alice had surely helped; she was most likely the biggest fashionista in the entire Pacific Northwest, and a fraction of her passion must have rubbed off on me while I wasn't paying attention.

My stomach grumbled impatiently and it occurred to me that I hadn't had a bite to eat since the chef salad I'd had at lunch. Grabbing my purse and jacket, I practically flew down to the car and pulled onto the road as fast as humanly possible.

Having had an exceptionally amazing birthday thus far, I was sincerely looking forward to the rest of it. I got to the restaurant at seven, picking Mike up along the way. It was nice to stretch the Prius's legs on the open road and test out the new sound system. I was not surprised at all to see the restaurant's parking lot already full of my friends' vehicles.

"Happy birthday!" Everyone stood up and cheered when they saw me enter. The entire lunch crew was there. My face flushed a deep red as I took my seat at the head of the large table, with Mike on my left and Alice on my right.

"Thanks for coming, everyone. I'm really glad you could all make it. Just remember: If you truly love me, there will be no singing tonight."

"Oh, Bella, you're no fun!" Alice said, pouting in an exaggerated fashion. "At least let us feed you cake later."

My eyes lit up. "_That_ I have no problem with. On a more serious note, I would like to add a big huge 'thank you' for all the presents. I absolutely loved each one. You guys really went above and beyond and I feel so lucky to have friends like you."

"It was nothing," Mike said, squeezing my hand. "We're the lucky ones." Heads around the table nodded and murmured in agreement and I lowered my head, flustered by the sentiment.

The server came by shortly thereafter and took our orders. Conversation turned to the usual topics of school and gossip and I felt completely at ease. Good food and good company—what else could I ask for on my birthday?

"Have I told you how good you look tonight? Seriously," Alice said, clearly approving of my outfit. "Edward?" She elbowed her brother in the ribs and he looked up from his phone. "Isn't Bella looking extra foxy?" I took a sip of water to distract myself from the uncomfortable feeling of Edward's appraising eyes.

"You look very nice tonight," he said, then returned to his text messaging. Alice rolled her eyes at him.

"Men! What do they know?"

"Hey, hey, hey. I'm a man and I happen to think Bella looks stunning," Mike asserted, with a slightly hurt tone to his voice.

"Alright then, enough of this topic! Let's please move onto something more…not about me."

Thankfully, no one had a chance to protest as our server had returned with our food. I dug into my linguine at once, not caring how unrefined I looked as I scarfed down the delicious pasta. From time to time I looked up, and each time my eyes fell on Edward. He seemed to have barely nibbled at his steak, and was now absent-mindedly pushing his vegetables around. I noticed Lauren, who was sitting on his other side, attempt a conversation, but it was futile. He seemed to be distracted, pre-occupied by some unknown force that had his attention.

"How's your food?" I asked, irrationally anxious to hear him speak.

Edward looked up, startled. Gazing back down at his nearly untouched plate, he answered, "It's great," and placed a large slice of meat in his mouth as if to prove it. I was unconvinced, but he swallowed with a grin and a thumbs-up.

The minute I turned my head away to return to my dinner, I caught a glimpse of Edward in my periphery putting down his fork and reaching for his phone to shoot off yet another text message.

_If he doesn't want to be here, why did he even bother showing up? Clearly he doesn't care about my birthday. _I twirled a couple strands of the creamy, garlicky linguine around my fork, but the thought of eating any more was unappetizing. I was frustrated. I'd been having such a good time, but how could I enjoy myself if my friends were unhappy?

When the server came to clear the table, I asked for the remains of my half-finished plate to be wrapped up. Charlie would appreciate it; I knew whatever he managed to whip up for himself that night would most likely be neither nutritious nor delicious.

I groaned inwardly when Alice whispered something in the server's ear and winked at me. "Alice, I swear, if you're planning something…" I trailed off and let my menacing glare speak for itself.

"You're so paranoid! Fear not, dear birthday girl, it's just cake. Cheesecake, to be precise."

"There goes my diet," Jessica groaned from down the table.

The cake arrived in no time. It looked absolutely to die for with its glossy red surface encircled by strawberries and a single lit sparkler in the centre. I had to struggle not to drool as I waited for the sparkler to die down.

Mike took charge and cut the cake. Just as I was served a thick slice, Edward rose from the table and exited the restaurant.

"Rude," Alice muttered under her breath. Louder, she said, "I'm going to go see what's up."

"No. Let me." I moved my napkin from my lap to the table and stood up. I'd had enough. If Edward was going to act this way, he would have to explain himself.

I stormed out the door and set my sights on Edward, who had taken a seat on the curb in the parking lot. As I was rehearsing various insults in my head, I saw something that made me falter. Edward had his head in his hands and was staring at his phone on the ground in front of him. He looked like he was in agony. I felt very self-conscious all of a sudden, as if I was intruding on a private moment.

"Edward?" I called hesitantly. His head snapped up at the sound of his name, but he did not speak. I walked over and sat next to him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fantastic. Go eat your cake." I looked at him with an eyebrow raised. He smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Really, everything's fine. I'm just getting some air."

"Cut the crap, Edward. You've been acting weird all night; obviously _something_ is wrong." I took a deep breath and continued in a small voice. "Is it me? Do you not want to be here?"

Edward's eyes widened and he looked incredibly guilty. He opened and closed his mouth several times and ran his hand through his hair before speaking. "Bella, believe me when I say there is nowhere I would rather be than here with you on your birthday. I apologize if I've been rude or inattentive tonight. My mind's been elsewhere all evening; it's no excuse, but, well…" He looked away, embarrassed, and his cheeks tinted as a pale blush swept across them. "Girl trouble."

"Oh," I said, not quite sure how to handle the situation. This was brand new territory for Edward and I, and I didn't want to mess up by saying the wrong thing. "Can I help?"

Edward's face relaxed, relieved that I was no longer upset. "Maybe. I don't know. It's Tanya. I went a couple days without calling her and now she's giving me the cold shoulder. Kind of counter-productive, don't you think? I've been trying to get her to speak to me all day but she's not having any of it. I even had flowers delivered to her house!" He laughed and shook his head. "Can you believe me? I must seem like such a stalker. What do you think?"

_I think she sounds immature and passive-aggressive,_ I thought, but when I answered him I chose my words carefully. "I think she has the right to be a bit upset, but I do agree she's going about it in the wrong way. You've done about all you can do. It's out of your hands now; she's either going to forgive you or she's not. She's crazy if she doesn't, though," I said with what I hoped was a reassuring pat on the knee.

He looked visibly cheerier and stretched his arm over my shoulders in a half-hug. "Thanks. I really needed to hear that. You really are the best friend a guy could ask for."

"Well, if you're ever in need of more advice, you know who to come to. I think I'll owe you for years after the present you got me."

"So you like it, then? I was so worried you'd go ballistic."

"Like it? I love it! Although you really could have saved a lot of money because my favourite part was the CD. I can't believe you remembered it after all this time. It really means a lot to me."

"Of course I remembered! Apart from both being the new kid in town, music was the first big thing we had in common. Look how far you've come in your musical tastes; I'd like to think I had something to do with that."

"Hey, I'll have you know that Avril Lavigne was very popular in Phoenix at the time," I said in mock outrage, tickling Edward's ribs.

"I'm sure she was! And I'm sure you were quite the punk rock princess," he teased. A cool breeze swept past us, bringing with it a couple drops of rain. "Looks like we better get back inside. I think it's generally noticed when the birthday girl goes missing at her own celebratory dinner."

"Sounds like a plan—on one condition. The phone gets put away." Edward looked like he was about to protest, so I quickly added, "You're only going to drive yourself crazy. Give her some space and she'll be more likely to come around. Trust me."

With a small smile, he hit the power button on his phone and slid it into his pocket. Then, side-by-side, we rejoined the party.


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks had passed since my birthday and things were as normal as could be. We didn't talk about that night in the parking lot, but Edward and Tanya's relationship seemed to be on the up-and-up because he hadn't come to me with any more problems.

One Friday at the end of September, after a solid fortnight of relentless rain, the residents of Forks woke up to a bright and unseasonably warm day. What's more, the radio in my car told me we were in for a full weekend of sunshine and light jacket weather. When I got to school I noticed to my dismay that Edward's car was missing from its usual parking space, which meant that both he and Alice would be absent. Officially, the Volvo belonged to both twins, so on days when Edward was sick, Alice would drive herself. Another quick scan of the lot showed that Jasper was away as well, which confirmed my suspicions: The Cullens were on a camping trip.

Carlisle could have gotten a position at any number of respected hospitals in big cities, but what had originally drawn him and Esme to Forks wasn't the abundance of liquid sunshine or the hustle and bustle of small-town living, it was their love of the outdoors. So it wasn't unusual for them to pull their children from school for a long weekend when the weather was nice, and since this was probably the last nice few days we'd have for months it made sense that they'd want to spend it in the wilderness. Jasper, being practically one of the family, would have joined them without a second thought.

My morning was blissfully uneventful up until lunch, when Jessica and Lauren waylaid me and dragged me to a table in a remote corner of the cafeteria, where Angela was already sitting.

"Um, this isn't our table. What's going on?" I asked, confused as hell, as Mike walked up, tray in hand.

Lauren placed herself in a defensive position between me and Mike. "Sorry Mike, us girls need some time alone today. You understand, right?"

"But I haven't seen Bella all day—" he began in protest, but was quickly interrupted.

"We need to talk about periods!" Jessica burst out frantically. Mike immediately paled at the thought and his lunch rattled as he struggled to maintain his grasp on the tray.

"Oh. Uh, okay, then. I guess I'll leave you to…that. Bella, I'll see you in History," he managed to stammer as he turned on his heel and all but sprinted to the furthest reaches of the cafeteria.

I had to admit I was amused by Jessica's outburst, but at the same time my frustration was mounting. Girl talk with Jessica and Lauren usually ended up being petty gossip, my least favourite subject in the world. I repeated myself. "What. Is. Going. On?"

"Bella, it's high time we had some good old-fashioned girl talk, don't you think?" Lauren said, her voice a little too sickly sweet to be sincere.

I looked to Angela for help, but she merely shrugged, looking as clueless as I felt. "I guess… What exactly did you have in mind? I don't really want to debate tampon brands or anything."

"Oh, no, that was just to get Mike to leave! We were wondering if you knew where Edward is today."

"Oh. Um, I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I'd bet good money he's camping with his family this weekend."

Lauren and Jessica looked at each other. Jessica looked as if she was about to explode, and Lauren was attempting to silence her with a series of disapproving expressions.

Jessica won. "Okay, we had a whole thing planned out but you know how I hate subtlety. We would like to know what exactly is going on between you and Edward."

My mouth dropped open in shock. _Well, that was out of the blue._ "N-nothing! Where would you even get that idea? You know we're just friends."

"You two disappeared for quite a while at your birthday, and you've seemed a lot…_closer_ ever since," Lauren said, leaning in conspiratorially. "It's okay, you can trust us. Whatever's said here won't leave the table."

I fought to keep from rolling my eyes. _Trust Lauren? She must think I'm an idiot._ "Seriously, our relationship is completely platonic. Always has been, always will be. Besides, you're forgetting the tiny fact that I'm Mike's girlfriend."

Lauren waved off that inconsequential detail with her hand. "Whatever. At least admit you find him attractive."

My first instinct was to get up and walk away from this ridiculous conversation, but I stayed rooted in my chair. "Of course I find him attractive. I think all my friends are attractive."

"God, Edward gets more swoon-worthy every time I see him!" Jessica gushed. "I miss having a boyfriend… Not that I care that you're dating Mike now, though, Bella!"

I knew Jessica wasn't jealous of Mike and I. We had had a short discussion on the matter when Mike had first asked me out. Jessica may not be my favourite person, but she had her moments of genuine niceness and I wouldn't want to jeopardize our friendship just for a guy.

Lauren was quizzing Angela now. "How about you, Angela? What do you think of Edward?"

"There's no denying he's very handsome, but he's no Ben," she replied, looking over to the table where our other halves had congregated and clearly wishing she was there.

"Well duh, I mean, of course we still like our boyfriends, but let's be real. Edward Cullen is a god amongst men," said Lauren.

This topic was making me very uncomfortable. I had always felt protective of Edward. He was my best friend, and I did not like the way girls picked him apart as if he was just some mindless hunk of flesh. As Lauren went on to describe in great detail his 'dreamy' green eyes, bronze 'sex hair', and 'perfectly sculpted' body, I zoned out and retreated into my own mind. _Sure, Edward's really good looking. He's got flawless skin, straight teeth, and a lop-sided grin that I've found adorable on more than one occasion. Even cuter is when he breaks into a giant grin and his green eyes crinkle up. He dresses better than a boy his age should and somehow he always manages to walk the line between 'unkempt' and 'carefully crafted' with his hair. He's muscular without being bulky, yet he doesn't work out beyond the occasional jog. But that's what all the girls say, I wish they could see past his looks; there's so much more to him. He's intelligent and funny, too. Not just Dane Cook, _Family Guy_, 'ha ha boobs' funny, either. He's always willing to listen to me and gives his honest and genuine support. He's extremely wealthy, which most girls place second only to his appearance, but he doesn't flaunt it or make other feel uncomfortable. He loves his family and they love him, too. This summer was the first time in four years he's hurt me and since then he's done nothing but make it up by making sure I never feel insignificant. It's not hard to see how any girl would want him, desire him, lust after him…wait, what?_

I shook myself out of it. No one had noticed how long I'd been absent, and the conversation had moved onto Alice.

"…She's just _weird_," said Jessica. She wasn't saying it in a particularly mean way—it was more of an observation, and a semi-true one at that, but I still felt the need to defend my friend.

I opened my mouth, but Angela came to the rescue first. "I don't think she's weird, just a bit different. She's always been so nice."

"God, I would kill for her wardrobe. Have you noticed how it's almost been a full month into the school year and she hasn't repeated the same outfit twice? It's not cheap stuff, either. That cute little coat of hers? Burberry. Probably cost more than everything we're wearing put together. You can't always tell because she never wears the stuff with obvious logos, but that girl could keep Sak's in business. And in _this economy_, no less." Lauren was, as always, equal parts jealous, awed, and annoyed by Alice.

I knew that Alice spent a lot of time ensuring that she got the best deal for her designer pieces, through both in-store sales and online comparison shopping. Watching her shop was like witnessing a lion stalking a zebra—equally beautiful, natural, and terrifying. I could have corrected Lauren, but I kept my mouth shut. A jealous Lauren was an entertaining Lauren.

"I think it's strange she never hangs out with us outside of school. What's she really like, Bella?" asked Jessica, genuinely curious.

I shrugged. "About the same. Really chatty, but it's not annoying because what she has to say is interesting. She spends most of her time with Jasper."

Lauren perked up at the mention of his name. "Jasper is _way_ underrated. Remember him before he started dating Alice? Such a nobody."

It was true, in a way. I didn't remember much of Jasper pre-Alice, since they'd fallen for each other only a couple short months after the Cullens and I came to Forks. He'd been even more shy and quiet back then. Even now, more than three years later, he only truly relaxed around Alice, Edward, and me; but he was visibly more comfortable in social situations with our classmates. However, I suspected that a lot of Lauren's opinion centered around the fact that Alice had had a hand in Jasper's wardrobe and styling.

An insistent buzzing came from my jeans' pocket just then, and I pulled out my phone to see who would be receiving my undying gratitude for getting me out of this conversation.

"Who is it?" asked Jessica.

I checked the caller ID. "Edward," I replied, my face reddening slightly.

The name had barely left my mouth when Jessica and Lauren exclaimed in unison, "I knew it!"

Turning in my chair in a futile attempt at privacy, I answered the call. "Hello?"

"Hey. It's me. I'm just calling to say I'm camping with my family at Willoughby Creek for the weekend."

"I appreciate the call, but it really isn't necessary. I assumed that's what you were up to."

"I know, but after this summer…well, I just wanted to let you know. I wouldn't want you to wonder." He sighed, and although I couldn't see him I knew he was running his hand through his hair as he so often did when he was nervous or troubled.

_His hair… _My face flushed deeper as I remembered what had been running through my mind just a few minutes before. I cleared my throat and hoped my voice would be steady.

"Oh…well, thank you. I hope you have a good time, it's supposed to be amazing all weekend."

We didn't talk long, and a moment later I was reluctantly turning back to the vultures waiting for me.

"What did Edward have to say?" Lauren said through the smile she was unable to wipe off her face.

"Not that it's any of your business, but he was just letting me know that he and his family are out at Willoughby this weekend."

Jessica squealed. "Ooh, Bella, that's great! Last month's Cosmo says that when a guy calls just to check in, it means he cares."

"Of course he cares. They're friends," Angela said. I gave her a grateful smile. _At least I have one sane person on my side._

"It's true. Sorry to burst your bubble, but we're _just friends_."

Lauren wasn't buying it. "We'll see," she said confidently, letting me know that this was not the last time we'd be having this discussion.

-x-

The air was hot. Almost too hot, really, but just when I'd start to feel uncomfortable a gentle breeze would blow past and everything would be perfect once more. I was wading in the ocean and was nearly up to my knees in the warm turquoise water. I stood motionless, cherishing the sensation of the wet sand squishing between my toes and the ocean lapping at my calves.

Alice was on the shore, kneeling excitedly on her towel as she watched Jasper perform daring flips off of a diving board and into the sea. After each successful dive, she squealed with delight and applauded him furiously. My heart swelled up when I thought of the love shared between them.

"Go, Jasper! You're incredible! I love you, baby! We are going to have so much sex later!"

Edward was a few yards away from his sister, digging a large hole in the white sand. It was about four feet wide and quite deep—Edward was standing in it and all I could see of him was his bare shoulders and head. A pile of discarded sand lay next to the hole. It was massive.

Just as I returned my gaze to Alice and Jasper, Edward called my name. I looked back to the beach but to my surprise he was standing right next to me. He was clad only in swim trunks; the water cast reflections of the sun onto his pale skin and he appeared to be sparkling. He was so bright my eyes hurt, but I could not look away.

"How did you get here so fast?"

"What are you talking about? I've been here the whole time." I shook my head, brows furrowed in confusion, but Edward continued. "Come with me, I want to show you what I've been working on."

I took his hand and together we walked over to the hole in the ground. There was a ladder in it now, and when I peered in it was so deep I couldn't make out where it ended.

I took a step back. "I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of where this might lead to."

"Don't be. You can always trust me. I'd never put you in harm's way." As if to prove it, Edward got onto the ladder and started to descend.

When his head disappeared below the ground, I stepped forward. I could no longer see him in the dark depths of the hole. I hesitated, unsure if I wanted to take the plunge into the unknown. Taking a deep breath, I placed a foot on the ladder and followed him.

I was thankful when I reached the bottom and solid ground. It was dark, and I had to blink my eyes several times to make sure they were actually open. When they finally adjusted, I recognized the familiar shapes of my bedroom. Looking down, I saw I was out of my bikini and into my pajamas. All of a sudden I felt exhausted, so I crawled into bed and settled in to sleep.

Not long after my head hit the pillow, I felt the duvet lift and the mattress sink down as someone crawled in next to me. A hard body pressed up against my back and an arm curled around my stomach. I should have been frightened, but something about the warmth of the person and their protective embrace made me feel secure. I snuggled closer.

"Mike?"

"Don't play games; you know who it is."

"Edward." It wasn't a question this time.

He tightened his hold on me and whispered in my ear. "What took you so long?"

"I wasn't sure of myself."

"Never doubt your feelings, love."

My eyes fluttered shut as I felt his hot breath against my skin.

"This is a dream."

"What makes you say that?"

"This would never happen."

He slowly turned me to face him. "Wouldn't it?"

In the pitch black of the room I could barely make out his features. With one hand on the curve of my waist, he placed the other on my face and slowly inched himself closer, closer, closer—

I woke up with a start and my eyes flew open. I sat up quickly and looked around the room. I was alone. My heart was pounding in my chest as if I'd just run a marathon. The bright LEDs of my alarm clock told me it was half past six—not long until I would have to get up anyways. Convenient, since I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep.

I tiptoed to the bathroom and stood over the sink, running the cold water until it was icy. I splashed it on my face and looked at my dripping self in the mirror.

Never in my four years of knowing him had I dreamt of Edward Cullen in that way. Hell, never in my seventeen years of existence had I dreamt of _anyone_ like that. But when I thought about it, it wasn't just the dream that had me so shook up. It had only made me remember the way he had brought me magazines and candy when I'd been bedridden after breaking my ankle when I was 15. The way he remembered the first album we'd ever listened to together. The way he thought to call to say he'd be away for the weekend. It was like a light had been switched on and there was no returning to the darkness, no matter how safe it was.

Even then, I was denying it. I must have been mistaken. At this point, I was making up ridiculous excuses that I knew were untrue before they had even properly formulated in my mind.

_Could it be my subconscious acting craz—_Nope.

_It must just be that he was on my mind after being the topic of discussion at lun_—If anything, that conversation opened my eyes.

Crap.

* * *

**A/N** Finally, our girl has had an awakening! (Literally, haha.) Let me know what you think :)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Wow! Thanks for the great feedback so far, everyone. I really appreciate your responses; it's incredibly encouraging to know someone, somewhere is enjoying my work.

That said, I'm about to be crazy-overwhelmed with holiday stuff, so this will be my last update of 2009. Savour it! Haha. Don't fret, I'll be back before you know it (ie, beginning of January).

Okay, okay, on with the show:

* * *

Things were different now. Not in any sort of tangible way, but there had most definitely been a shift in perception.

This was new territory for me. The butterflies, the nervous energy, the stolen glances. I'd never had a proper crush before, not even with Mike.

_Mike_.

The guilt would surely eat me alive. Slowly tear apart my stomach and the doctors would say it was ulcers but I would know the truth. I would know what a horrible person I really was.

By Sunday night, I had almost managed to convince myself I had no feelings for Edward. I went to a matinée movie with Mike that day, some predictable no-brainer of a romantic comedy. We had shared popcorn and held hands. I laughed at his cheesy jokes and let him kiss me during the previews, in the dark where no one could see us. _I like this,_ I had thought as his tongue explored my mouth and his hand awkwardly grasped my waist just beneath my left breast. _I like Mike Newton._ And I believed it.

Then came Monday. Monday left no doubt in my mind.

English was first, and I got there early. So early, in fact, that I arrived to an empty class. I settled in my seat and waited for everyone else to show up. The first bell of the day rang and students slowly started to trickle in.

Then—Edward.

I had been so confident that things would be the same as always, that I wouldn't feel anything for him. But when he saw me he smiled, and all that went flying out the window. I watched him carefully as he walked across the room in my direction, silently cursing every person that crossed his path and obscured him from my vision.

He was wearing a variation of what he wore most days, but this was the first time I ever really took notice. His eyes were still sleepy and he hadn't shaved that morning; his jaw was sprinkled with dark stubble that made him look much older than seventeen. By the looks of it he hadn't brushed his hair, either. Despite its length, it stuck up in every direction, still damp from the shower he had probably taken last minute because he always overslept. A few sparse hairs peeked out from the shallow v-neck of his shirt. The heather grey of the cotton served to highlight the paleness of his skin while not washing it out. His black jeans were comfortably worn in, both tight and baggy at the same time. I briefly wondered how he kept them so dark after what must have been a million washes.

Edward took his seat behind me and I shut my eyes to better enjoy the slight breeze that followed his body. Every cell in my lungs was alight with the scent of him and I did not want to ever exhale, and at that point I realized I was being ridiculous and forced myself to snap out of it.

_Damn it, Bella. Keep it together. You're only 30 seconds into the day._

"How was your weekend?"

I jumped at his voice and turned quickly in my seat. "O-oh! It was okay. Saw the new Jennifer Aniston movie. B-minus. How was camping?"

He grimaced. "I had to share a tent with Alice and Jasper."

My eyes widened and I kept my voice low. "They didn't…um, you know. Did they?"

"Oh, god, no! I didn't even once catch them kissing. I think Carlisle and Esme kept us together because they knew there'd be no…_hanky-panky _that way."

"Hanky-panky? What is this, 1918?" I couldn't help but poke fun at Edward's outdated slang. "You sound like my grandmother."

"Laugh all you want; I need my old-timey phrases. They make it easier to not think about my sister…and him…" He shuddered. "See? No. Just no."

The second bell rang, signifying the start of class. I gave Edward one last smile and faced the front of the room.

_That wasn't so bad…Once we got talking I felt completely at ease. _

"Happy Monday, everyone," said Mr. Berty, setting down a large, heavy cardboard box on his desk. Scrawled on the side, upside-down in thick black ink, were the words 'NOVEL STUDY – ENGLISH 12'. The class collectively grumbled a sleepy greeting in return.

"Glad you're all awake…somewhat. Perhaps this will perk you up: as you know, we're starting our new unit today, and it is my personal favourite. Can anyone tell me anything about existentialism?"

Austin Marks answered, "It's, like, 'to be or not to be'."

"Yes, excellent! I see you were paying attention during _Hamlet_ last year. Anyone else care to elaborate?"

I decided to tackle this one. "Existentialists accept that each individual is free to make all their own decisions, but with that freedom comes responsibility, and with _that_ comes pressure and anxiety."

"Precisely, Miss Swan. In short, existentialism is the philosophy of human existence. It explores free will, why we make the choices we do, and finding one's self. Between now and winter break we will be studying a number of philosophers and reading two novels: Albert Camus' _The Stranger_ and Jean-Paul Sartre's _Nausea_. Now, now, Mr. Yorkie, don't look so outraged. Both are quite short, there will be plenty of time. If it were up to me we'd be reading both in their original French, as I feel certain elements are always lost in translation, but for obvious reasons this is impossible. _Quel dommage!_"

When his attempt at humour was met with blank stares, he cleared his throat and continued. "Alright, now if you'll turn to page two-thirteen in your textbooks, we'll get started. Mr. Marks, would you please begin reading?"

Not long into the textbook's chapter on Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I was annoyed by the way my heart started immediately pounding. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of white hovering over my right shoulder: a note. I casually grabbed it, keeping my focus on Mr. Berty the entire time to be sure I wouldn't be caught. The coast was definitely clear—his head was craned down, following intently along in the book as Austin read aloud.

_Let's get out of here next period. I'm hungry._

Edward and I both had a free period next, and while most days we spent it talking in the library, it wasn't unusual for us to make a trip to the local coffee shop for a quick dose of our favourite drug. I picked up my pen and wrote back: _Sounds good. Coffee?_

_Actually, I'm craving something different. Something more…exotic. Think you can get out of History as well?_

_-x-  
_

A little over an hour later, Edward and I were just sitting down in an uncomfortable beige-and-teal booth and about to eat breakfast. At…McDonald's. In Port Angeles, no less, as Forks was far too small a town to warrant its own golden arches.

"I can't believe you made me skip class for this. We were going to watch _Conspiracy_ and you know how much I love Kenneth Branagh!"

"You're just saying that because you've both got a thing for Shakespeare. Now, just relax and enjoy your food! How often is it that you get a fine meal such as this?"

I looked down at my untouched sandwich sitting on its wrapper. It smelled good, but I had no idea what it was. Edward had ordered for me; I hadn't been to a McDonald's for breakfast since my days in Phoenix, and even then it was a rare treat. "What exactly is this?"

He looked appalled at my lack of fast-food knowledge. "It's a McGriddle, and it is everything you could ever want in a breakfast. It's an egg sandwich with bacon and cheese, which is amazing on its own, but get this: those buns are pancakes. Filled with syrup." He made a show of biting into his own and rolling his eyes back into his head with a deep groan of appreciation. I probably would have found this quite erotic if it weren't for the fact that we were in, well, McDonald's. The family with three screaming kids sitting next to us and the heavy scent of grease in the air kind of killed the mood. Nevertheless, his enthusiasm had me convinced.

I took a big bite out of the sandwich. He was right; it was delicious. The salt of the bacon counteracted the sweetness of the syrup and there was cheese and…

I withdrew my cell phone from my pocket and started scrolling through my contacts.

"Spreading the gospel of the McGriddle already?"

"No," I said nonchalantly, taking a sip of my coffee. "Just making sure I have your dad's number in here for when I inevitably have a heart attack."

My phone rang just then, making me jump and nearly giving me the heart attack I'd been joking about.

_Where are you? Are you okay?_

It was a message from Mike. The guilt hit me immediately. History was the one class we had together and here I was, missing it so I could eat a greasy breakfast with the guy I had the hots for. In fact, I'd hardly seen Mike since he'd been made captain of the basketball team the week prior. I had been told by many people that this was going to do wonders for my reputation, since I was no longer just the girlfriend of a popular boy, but the girlfriend of _the_ _most_ popular boy. But what did that matter to me if I only got to see him once a week outside of school?

I sent a quick message back: _Not feeling well. Went home. Talk later._

"Hmoo wuszhit?" Edward asked, his mouth full of food.

I shoved my phone back in my pocket. "No one."

"Well, hurry up and eat. I have an appointment with the counselor later. I get to discuss my post-secondary options," he said, rolling his eyes, clearly overjoyed at the notion.

"Oh, yeah? Where do you think you'll go?"

"No clue. The Doctor's making me apply to at least one Ivy, and he's pushing for Dartmouth since that's where he went for med school. Deep down he knows I won't be following in his footsteps with my aversion to blood and guts, but I guess he still won't give up the dream. Tanya,"—my body tensed at the name—"is probably going to Harvard, but her second choice is Northwestern so I'll probably apply there too. Honestly, though, I'd rather stay on the West Coast and go to U-Dub or something. Emmett seems to be getting a good enough education there… In between all the parties, of course."

I laughed. It wasn't hard to imagine Edward's older brother as the quintessential drunk college student.

"You been facing any parental pressures regarding '_your future'_?" he asked, his voice dripping with disdain at the last two words.

"Yes and no. Since neither of my parents went to college, it doesn't really matter where I go. I mean, I'm going to be the first Swan to get a degree, and that's quite the accomplishment in and of itself. But even though they say they don't care what school I pick, they still have their opinions. Charlie wants me to stay close to home and go to U-Dub, and Renée would rather I go to UF so she can see me more."

I washed down the last bite of my sandwich with the final swig of my coffee. "I'll probably end up at whichever school gives me the most money. Alright, let's head back to school."

I did eventually tell Mike the truth about where I'd been, and he wasn't upset. That almost made it worse, especially when he started talking about how much he trusted me. As much as I'd like to have spent more time with him to make it up and assuage my own conscience, he was still kept too busy with basketball. In the end, I guess I didn't really mind, since it gave me more of an opportunity to hang out with the Cullens.

One afternoon, about a week after my culinary adventure with Edward, I was hanging out at his house with him, Alice, and Jasper. We were playing Rock Band together—I was kicking ass on drums—and had just finished _Reptilia_ when Esme flew in the door.

"Bella! It's so good to see you! You've been such a stranger lately," she said as she spotted me, putting a large vase down in the foyer and rushing over for a hug. Hugs from her always made me feel like I had a mom that wasn't 2,400 miles away. She smelled like vanilla and new books.

"I've been around; we just keep missing each other. Did you get that from the shop?" I asked, gesturing at the vase.

Esme's eyes lit up. "I did! It just came in today, and I knew as soon as I saw it that I couldn't let it reach the floor, I had to have it. Don't tell your father," she half-joked, looking at Alice and Edward.

Esme was the owner and operator of Forks' only antique shop, _Another's Treasure_. It was her and her keen eye for design that had outfitted the Cullen house in a delicately balanced mélange of modern and vintage pieces. She loved her job and worked hard at it; while at the same time raising three children, keeping all household affairs in order, and ensuring everyone ate a delicious and nutritious dinner each evening. I thought of her as Super Mom.

"You're secret's safe with us," Alice said, putting the plastic microphone down. "Can Bella stay for dinner?"

Alice didn't need to ask about Jasper—he dined with the Cullens more often than not.

"Of course! As long as it's alright with your father, sweetie."

"It's no problem. He's been working a lot of overtime lately; I doubt he'll be home before I'm in bed tonight."

Together we worked in the kitchen, chopping vegetables, baking potatoes and grilling chicken. When Carlisle came home, he joined in. It was nice having this sort of surrogate family; a mother and father who were very much in love with each other even after two decades of marriage was a bit of an alien concept to me. I'd never known anything other than Thanksgiving with one parent and Christmas with the other, and having to fly alone between the two so they wouldn't have to actually see each other. I loved my family, as dysfunctional as they may have been at times, but it was interesting to see how the other half lived. No wonder Jasper spent all his free time here.

Conversation was light over dinner; Carlisle updated us on how well Harry Clearwater, one of Jacob's neighbours, was recovering from his recent heart attack, Alice filled us in on how the designers were faring at the various international Fashion Weeks taking place, and Jasper told us that thanks to the two inches he grew over summer he was now the tallest in his family.

After we were all pleasantly stuffed, Esme shooed us away, refusing our help with the dishes. Carlisle retreated to his study to finish some paperwork, leaving us kids to our own devices. We sat around the living room, wondering what to do next.

"Want to watch a movie?" Edward asked.

I glanced at the clock sitting on the mantle. It was only 6:30, still early enough to squeeze in a movie and make it home in time for a decent night's sleep. "Sure, do you have anything new?"

"Do I have anything… Oh, dear Bella, of course I do."

Edward grabbed his laptop, which had been sitting on the coffee table, and hooked it up to a couple cables that were sticking out from behind the large flat-screen television. He fiddled with a few things and suddenly his desktop was displayed on the TV.

Pulling up his 'Movies' folder, bursting with titles surely acquired by dubious means, he turned to us and asked, "See anything you like?"

We settled on a thriller that wasn't even out on DVD yet. Long John Edward's pirating skills were top notch.

We all took our places on the long leather couch—Jasper at one end with Alice leaning against his chest, Edward at the other end, and me in the middle. I tried to act casual and not freak out when Edward shifted and our feet touched. I knew the next two hours would be a trial in self-control.

_A dark room, a scary movie, and me trying to keep my cool next to my best-friend-turned-infatuation. Why does he have to be so close to me? Would it look too obvious if I moved to the other couch? How am I supposed to focus on plot or suspense when I have this Adonis' foot touching mine?_

It took all my resolve, but I was able to get into the movie. However, I had apparently overestimated my nerves when I'd agreed to the choice, and about three-quarters of the way through my palms were sweaty with a different kind of fear. During one particularly suspenseful scene, I gave up. If I wanted to sleep that night I needed to leave the room.

I got up, whispering "Be right back!" to Alice, and went to the kitchen. Here, in the bright fluorescent light bouncing off white tiles and stainless steel appliances, no psychotic killers with troubled pasts would surprise me. I helped myself to a tall glass of water and sat on a stool at the island, my feet kicking at the bar midway down the legs. Chewing on a piece of ice, my eyes drifted over to some unopened mail haphazardly piled on the countertop. On the very top was a thick white envelope, addressed to Edward in what was possibly the girliest script I'd ever seen, all large and loopy. Were there any 'i's in his address, I'd have bet good money they'd be dotted with precious little hearts. I picked up the envelope and turned it over. There was a glittery heart sticker sealing it shut.

"That's from Tanya," Edward said from just a few inches behind me. He must have floated in, because I certainly didn't hear him.

I gasped in shock and the ice I had been gnawing on lodged in my throat. Just as I started to panic, I coughed it back up and spit it in the sink. I wheeled around and, to hide my embarrassment, turned on Edward.

"Don't—do—that!" I said, punctuating each word with a light slap on his bicep.

_Wow, how have I never noticed how nice his arms are?_

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I knew you were on edge from the movie and I just couldn't help myself. Besides," he said, reaching down to pick up the envelope that I had dropped, "that's what you get for going through my mail."

I could tell he was joking and didn't care in the slightest that I'd been snooping, but I still flushed a deep crimson and sputtered an apology. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! I know I shouldn't snoop, but I—I just—I liked her handwriting?" I finished lamely.

Edward chuckled and tapped the envelope against the counter. "Yeah, it's really something, isn't it? She even dots all her lowercase 'i's and 'j's with hearts."

_I knew it._

"Do you guys write back and forth a lot? That envelope's as thick as my finger."

"We do, but to be honest it's kind of one-sided. She prefers long, detailed letters that outline every aspect of what she's been up to, whereas I like to keep things more concise."

A loud crash, followed by a pained "Ow!" came from the living room, and Edward and I rushed to the swinging door to see what had happened. Edward reached it first and ducked his head in while I waited anxiously behind him. Through the crack, I could see nothing but darkness broken occasionally by the images flickering on the TV. All I could hear was the audio from the movie and maybe some shuffling around.

I was just about to elbow Edward out of the way so I could see what was going on when he groaned and stepped back quickly—I moved out of the way just in time, narrowly avoiding being trampled.

"What was that? Are they okay?"

"Oh, they're okay alright. Looks like they were taking advantage of being alone and got a little too…crazy. All I saw was Jasper helping Alice back onto the couch and then going back to making out." Edward's face was frozen in a comical mix of shock and terror. As close as he and Alice were, he did _not_ like to think of her getting down and dirty.

"Edward, I hate to break it to you, but you're going to have to get used to this. Jasper loves Alice. Alice loves Jasper. When two consenting high school seniors love each other… Well, you remember what we learned in last year's health class, right?"

"Unfortunately."

"Be happy you don't have some sort of psychic twintuition—just imagine what you'd have to listen to if you had access to her mind."

Edward laughed and sat down on the same stool I'd been on before. His toes touched the floor. "I'd rather not."

I reached past him—my arm brushing against his was just a lucky coincidence, I swear—and grabbed my water. I felt too awkward standing there with nothing to occupy my hands.

I took a long, thoughtful sip, cocked my head, and locked eyes with Edward. "You know, I never noticed it before, but you're kind of a prude. Poor Tanya."

_Did I really just say that? Why does everything come back to her?_

Edward smiled slowly, as if he had a juicy secret. "Now, now, Bella, I'm not one to kiss and tell."

Thinking of him kissing Tanya caused my heart to skip a very uncomfortable beat, like a miniature one-second death. I was at a loss for words, my brain blank like a reel running an empty film strip.

"Have you finished the reading for Biology yet?"

_Hallelujah, he changed the subject._

_-x-  
_

When I was home that night, after the movie had finished and Alice and Jasper had come up for air, I lay in bed and tried to no avail to think of anything but Edward Cullen. The brief mention of Tanya earlier further solidified my resolve to never act on my feelings. Not that I was planning on it; telling Edward how I felt barely even registered on my list of possibilities.

_He doesn't even feel the same way. I'd just be wasting my time and making all kinds of people mad at me. Including Edward. The thought of losing him as a best friend far outweighs anything I'm feeling. I'll get over this crush with a bit of time…I hope._

_

* * *

_

**Fun facts:**  
~ I have no idea what '_the kids_' are learning in high school these days so I've lifted some lesson plans from my Grade 12 year. Kenneth Branagh was an ever-constant figure in English and History classes. _Conspiracy_ is a film about the Wannsee Conference; I recommend it to anyone with an interest in WWII. Bonus: Stanley Tucci's in it!  
~ Bella gushing over Edward was the easiest thing I've written so far, for obvious reasons. I probably could have gone on for paragraphs.  
~ There are 560 calories and 32 grams of fat in one McGriddle sandwich. Yikes.  
~ Alice's favourite designers are Marc Jacobs, Chloé, and James Perse. She only has a select few designer pieces, though; mostly basics and essential wardrobe items, like the Burberry duffle coat Lauren mentioned last chapter. You can see it, along with a bunch of other things, on my Polyvore page (the link is on my profile).

Happy holidays, everyone! See you in 2010 :)


	6. Chapter 6

Wow. Sorry for that (ridiculous, unannounced, and unintended) hiatus! Hope some of y'all are still around. This is a bit of a shorter chapter, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.

**

* * *

**_**Date: **__October 21_

_**From:**__ Alice Cullen_

_**To:**__ Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, Jasper Whitlock, Mike Newton, Angela Weber… (52 more)_

_**Subject: **__:)_

_Saturday, October 31. 9:00pm._

_Cullen house._

_(360) 555-7499_

_BYOB. Costumes are __mandatory__._

"What is it?" asked Mike, leaning over to see what I was reading.

Mike and I were spending a rare Saturday afternoon together at his house. It was the first time in almost two weeks that we were seeing each other outside of school hours. The fact that we were spending it lazing about on the couch watching YouTube videos was slightly pathetic.

I handed him my laptop and he read the e-mail.

"This is great! I knew she would throw a party but damn, she cut the invitations close this year."

"Yeah, well, it's not like anyone was in danger of making other plans."

It was true. Alice had started a new tradition last year in the form of an epic Halloween bash. Carlisle and Esme had been in Seattle for an annual benefit dinner, and the Cullen house had the three elements that made it the perfect party venue: it was big, it was unsupervised, and it was far enough from any neighbours that noise complaints—and therefore police—were a non-issue.

That night had been all anyone could talk about for months afterward. Rumours of a sequel had been flying since the beginning of the month, but Alice had kept us all on the edge of our seats, not saying a word on the subject. Until now.

Halloween had always been one of my favourite holidays. As a kid, I'd spend weeks agonizing over what to dress up as. Renée would make my costume from scratch and take me out trick-or-treating, carrying my bulging pillowcase when it was too heavy for me. Being a kid on Halloween in Phoenix was great since it was still so warm at the end of October that costumes didn't have to be chosen for their ability to house a winter jacket. As a teenager, Halloween still meant getting dressed up, but we kept warm in the confines of whomever's house we were partying at. The realization that by this time next year my friends and I would all be separated for school made me oddly nostalgic.

"It's kind of sad. This might be our last Halloween together."

Mike looked confused. "Why do you say that?"

"You know, with graduating and all. Everyone's going to be scattered and it's not like we can all come home just for a party."

He was silent as he closed the laptop and set it on the coffee table. Turning back to face me, he took my hand in his and hesitated slightly before saying, "We need to talk."

My heart was racing. No conversation in the history of relationships ever turned out well when it was prefaced by those four words.

"W-what is it?"

"We've been dating for what, four months now?"

I nodded blankly. I'd never been dumped before and was unsure how to act. _Oh god, I hope I don't cry._

"And it's been great. Really, it has. We may not get to spend as much time together as we'd like, but when we get a day, or even an afternoon like this, to ourselves, well, there's nowhere I'd rather be. And there's no one else I'd rather be with."

Now I was confused. Where was he going with this?

"We need to think of the future, though. There are only eight months left of school, then the summer, and then what? I don't feel ready for a long-distance relationship at this age. I can't even imagine going a month without seeing you. Which is why we need to have this conversation now, before it's too late."

_Okay, so he _is_ breaking up with me. _I braced myself and bit my lower lip to distract myself from the tears already stinging my eyes.

"I think we should go to college together."

My eyebrows shot up. "Oh." There were no other words. I didn't know how to process that thought.

Mike gripped my hand harder. _I guess my reaction isn't quite what he had been hoping for._ I frantically tried to come up with something, anything, to say. He looked so hopeful; if I hurt his feelings it would be like kicking a puppy.

"That's really sweet, and you know how much I'd like for that to happen, but we have to be realistic—"

"—Don't get me wrong, I know it's a long ways away, but I think we should at least apply to a few of the same places just in case. So we have options."

"I don't know, Mike…"

"No, don't say anything yet. Promise me you'll think about it?"

Oh, did I think about it. I thought about it for the rest of the thankfully short afternoon with Mike. I thought about it when he drove me home, just as the sun was dipping behind the trees. I thought about it while eating dinner with Charlie, apparently so much that I was noticeably quiet, even for me.

"Is something wrong, kiddo?"

"No," I replied automatically. "Wait. Yes. Can I talk to you about something?"

Charlie's fork halted mid-air. "Is it sex? I thought your mom covered that."

"Ew, no, Dad." I couldn't believe I was even bringing this up. The closest Charlie and I had ever come to discussing boys was when I'd told him Mike and I were dating and he'd choked on his coffee and burnt his tongue. "It's Mike."

He looked visibly relieved as he chewed slowly on the chicken that had finally made its way to his mouth. "You have a fight or something?"

"No…not exactly. He told me he wants us to go to the same school next year."

Charlie's eyes narrowed. "Don't you think it's a bit soon to be making that kind of commitment? You kids haven't been dating all that long."

"I know, and I agree with that. Four months may be eons in high school years, but it's really not at all."

"Do you think you'll still be together next fall?"

"I don't know. But at the same time, I can't see me breaking up with him and I definitely can't see him breaking up with me. Things are going good so far."

Charlie nodded. "The Newton boy's a good kid. Known him his whole life and he's never been nothing but nice. He seems to make you happy, and I can't ask for much more than that. I'd just hate to see you limit yourself to schools the both of you could get into. No offense to him, but you've always been the better student."

"I wouldn't necessarily be limiting myself, though. I can still apply to all the schools I want. I'd just make sure a few of them were places that I'd be happy to attend with Mike if he and I are still dating then. I'd have all my bases covered."

He shook his head and chuckled. "You sound like you've got this all figured out."

"I guess I had too much going on in my head to see it. Thanks for letting me get it out," I said.

"Any time, Bells. Now, uh, if that's all, do you mind if I go watch the game? Don't worry about the dishes, I'll take care of them between innings."

I had to smile. Charlie was nothing if not predictable. "Sure, Dad."

I retreated to my bedroom and attempted to finish up some Spanish homework, but before long my mind was drifting to Mike. More specifically, to Mike and Edward. Realizing I would only be able to focus on the story of Andres and his _abuelita_ once I'd come to some sort of a conclusion on my love life, I decided to do things in a logical, organized way with a classic pros and cons list.

This was what I came up with.

Edward

Pros – Best friend. Always there for me. No awkward secrets—we know everything about each other. Probably the most attractive guy I will ever meet. Well read. Parents already adore me.

Cons – Already spoken for. Will face horrifying rejection if I make my feelings clear. Things might never be the same between us.

Mike

Pros – Caring. Would do anything for me. Can always relax around him. Popular yet still down to earth. Smart but not smarter than me.

Cons – Not Edward.

I tapped my pen against the paper and stared at the last line. _Not Edward._ It really was Mike's only flaw in my eyes and for that I sort of hated myself. _Oh, sorry, Mike, I know you're this incredibly amazing guy who likes me more than anyone else, but you see, you're not Edwa—_

"Bella?"

I nearly jumped right out of my seat at the sound of my name. I didn't even have to turn around to know that the voice belonged to Edward.

I whipped around and said, "Jesus Christ, don't sneak up on me like that! You're too quiet for your own good."

He abashedly apologized. "Sorry. I thought you'd hear the window, but I guess you were really absorbed in your homework."

"Right, my homework," I said as I oh-so-casually slid my _libro_ over the list. I searched his face for a sign that he'd seen what I'd written, but it looked like luck was on my side tonight.

"What are you doing here, anyways?"

"I was making a Slurpee-run," he said, shaking a neon-coloured cup from side to side. There was the distinct sound of crushed ice and high fructose corn syrup sloshing around—most likely a carefully crafted mix of cherry and banana, Edward's favourite. "On my way back, I noticed your light was on and I thought to myself, 'You know who I haven't seen all weekend? Bella.' So, here I am."

_Pro: Spontaneous_, I thought, mentally adding it to the list. _Con: Addicted to sugar. If sugar rushes are his high, then Slurpees are his heroin._ An image of Edward hunched over in a dark, dank alley, a tourniquet made from his iPod earbuds tight around his arm, and a trembling syringe full of bright pink Slurpee in his hand sprang to mind and I burst into a fit of laughter.

Edward swiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. "Do I have something on my face? What's so funny?"

I composed myself quickly but my grin lingered. "Nothing, sorry. Just thought of something."

"Bella? Is that Edward in there?" asked Charlie's voice from the hall. I stiffened and my eyes darted to the clock on my bedside table. It was nearing 9:30, a little late for visitors in my bedroom.

"Hi, Chief Swan!" called Edward.

"Hello, Edward," he replied gruffly. "Bella, not too late, okay? It's a school night."

"Sure thing, Dad. 'Night."

"Goodnight, Chief Swan!"

When the sound of Charlie's footsteps disappeared into his room, Edward turned to me, took a long sip from his straw, and remarked, "You know, you have a pretty cool dad. Not many parents would let boys sneak through their daughter's bedroom window whenever they felt like it. They'd have removed the trellis long ago and planted the thorniest bushes they could find."

"He doesn't let _any _boy do it, just you. He knows we're just friends. I think he's got a bit of a soft spot for you since you and Alice were my first real friends here. Plus," I joked, "he owns multiple guns and knows how to use them. And he knows you know that."

Edward smiled. "You make a valid point. I wouldn't want to mess with a guy who has the means to cover up my death. In fact, I should probably get going. Don't want to push my luck and have to start using the front door like some sort of commoner."

"That would truly be tragic."

"Indeed. Here," he said as he stood, handing me his now-empty cup. "Mind tossing this?"

"Oh, so that's how you see me? A convenient garbage stop on the way home?" I said sarcastically, but I took his cup nonetheless.

He grinned and winked. "Yes. See you tomorrow!" he said as he climbed back out the window.

I was alone. I looked down at the cup in my hand; there were a few half-melted chunks left. _Red and yellow: cherry and banana_, I thought triumphantly as I popped the dome lid off and tipped the remnants into my mouth. _Gross,_ _how can he drink this stuff? It's practically diabetes in a cup._

I licked my lips to remove any traces of the sticky liquid. I wondered briefly if Edward's lips would taste the same, but quickly forced those thoughts out of my head.

All of a sudden, I knew what I had to do to. I crumpled up the pros and cons list and chucked it in the trash, along with the Slurpee cup. Right then and there I resolved to stick with Mike. I couldn't—I _wouldn't_—ruin a perfectly good relationship for someone who was an impossibility.

_I'll get over this silly crush eventually and no one will have to get hurt. Right?_

_

* * *

_As always, let me know what you think! Reviews will help me stay focused and see this story through (because I do really, really want to!) :)_  
_


	7. Chapter 7

My new outlook on things made getting through the next week easier. Sure, my heart still leapt into my throat every time I was around Edward, but it was becoming much more manageable.

Things with Mike were going smoothly as well; he'd tried to bring up the subject of college a couple of times, but to my relief we were always interrupted. I wasn't going out of my way to avoid the conversation, but I definitely was not in any hurry to have it.

It didn't hurt that I had something to distract me, something I couldn't avoid even if I wanted to.

The countdown to Alice's party was on. All conversations revolved around who would be there—everyone, or so it seemed—and what they would be wearing. Notes with elaborate costume sketches were passed in class and everyone scrambled to make arrangements for procuring alcohol. Alice couldn't walk five feet down the hallway without being stopped by someone with a question about directions or whether or not they could bring a friend. There was no doubt about it, this would once again be the party of the year.

I was swept up in all the frenzy as well, so much that it didn't escape even Mike's notice.

"I never thought I'd see you excited for a party," he said as I hurried him out his door and into my car on Saturday night.

"I like parties when I'm not the focus, and Halloween is my favourite holiday. Besides, I'd never miss the opportunity to see my classmates drunk and acting like…well, like drunk teenagers."

Mike laughed and tapped the case of beer hidden under his letterman's jacket on his lap. "You're not wrong there."

I pulled onto the highway, driving a bit faster than I normally would. "I can't wait to see everyone's costumes. Edward said he had a really good one."

I couldn't be sure, but I thought I heard Mike mutter, "Fifteen minutes, a new record." Before I could really think about it, though, he said, "Oh, he did, did he? Better than mine?"

"Um…" I trailed off as I quickly glanced at Mike's outfit. I'd been able to hide my disappointment at his lack of originality when he'd answered the door earlier, but I'd feel bad if I lied now. "Well, you're sort of going as…you, right?"

He looked hurt. "Why would you think that?"

I paused. _Is he serious?_ "Mike, you're dressed in the school's team uniform. I assumed you were supposed to be a Spartan."

"I am, but this is the soccer uniform. Everyone knows I just play basketball."

"Ah. Of course. My bad." I didn't know what else to say. Did he want me to congratulate him for being such a chameleon?

Just as I was turning into the long, winding hidden driveway, Mike decided to try 'the talk' again. "Have you given any thought to which colleges we should apply to?"

_Ugh. This is so not the time or the place for this._ "Um…no, not so much yet. Can we talk about this later? I've kind of already transitioned into party mode."

"Well, if not now, when?"

"Just…soon, okay? Look, here we are. Let's go, I can hear the music pumping from here."

I parked the car behind the multiple other vehicles that had already arrived and together Mike and I made our way to the door. I'd barely knocked when the door flew open and Alice and Jasper greeted us.

"You guys made it!" Alice said, ushering us in excitedly, her voice raised so as to be heard over the music coming from the living room.

"Of course we did. Oh, wow, your costumes turned out amazing."

Jasper put his arm around Alice as she beamed. She was the Edie Sedgwick to his Andy Warhol, and I knew a lot of time and planning had gone into their outfits. Her hair was pinned close to her head so it looked even shorter than it already was, and she was wearing an oversized black-and-white striped t-shirt with a black leather micro-miniskirt and a gigantic faux fur jacket over it all. He looked fairly suave in a simple black suit and skinny tie, with his hair parted and combed neat and his regular glasses swapped for a pair of vintage frames.

"I don't get it," Mike said. "Can I stick my beer in the fridge?"

"Yeah, sure, it's right through there." Jasper pointed in the direction of the kitchen, looking a bit disheartened.

"You look great, too, Bella. I think everyone will get it right away," said Alice.

I was dressed as my favourite TV character, Daria Morgendorffer from the old MTV show. It was a pretty simple costume to put together since I already owned the signature green blazer, brown shirt, black skirt, and Doc Martens. A quick trip to the drugstore to get a pair of fake glasses had been the only effort I needed to exert.

"Seriously. I never thought about it before, but you and Daria are total…" Jasper trailed off, searching for the right word.

"Soul sisters?" I finished for him with a grin. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

There was another knock on the door then, and as Alice turned away to greet the newcomers, Jasper said, "You should go find Edward. You're going to love his costume."

"Good idea, I'll go do that. See you around."

I made my way into the living room, which was already crowded, dark, and noisy. All the furniture had been pushed to the outskirts, creating a wide empty space in the middle. In the corner, Eric, who was Edward's only real rival when it came to the size of his music collection, was DJing.

I scanned the room, trying to pick out Edward's face, and finally noticed him standing next to a table loaded with food, pop, and ubiquitous red plastic cups. As far as I could tell, he was just dressed as a doctor in dark blue scrubs and a long white lab coat, so I made my way over to him.

"Hey, what's the deal? I thought you were supposed to have some hilarious costume."

Instead of answering, he grinned, revealing a set of plastic fangs in his mouth.

I was drawing a blank.

"A doctor…vampire?"

Edward laughed and a little bit of drool escaped out the corner of his mouth. He looked only slightly embarrassed as he wiped it away. He opened his mouth to say something, but seemed to realize it would be easier if his mouth was unobstructed, so he removed the teeth altogether.

"I didn't really think this through; wearing these teeth all night, I mean. And yes, I am a vampire doctor. But you can call me Dr. Acula."

It took me a minute to get the joke. "Oh, that's really clever! I like it."

"It's more out of laziness than anything, really. The clothes are my dad's and I stole the fangs from the kids' reward basket at the dentist the last time I was there. Your costume looks great, by the way."

"Thanks," I said, blushing slightly at the compliment. "So, are you enjoying the party?"

Edward nodded, sweeping his eyes across the room. "I am. I can't believe how many people are here already, though. I know most of them, but still… I hope things don't get out of control."

"I'm sure it will be fine. Even when everyone is at their drunkest, they all stay pretty calm. I don't think I've ever seen a real fight at a party."

"True," he said, seemingly reassured. He grabbed a cup from the table, filled it half full of cranberry juice, and then reached into the deep pocket of his coat and pulled out a mickey of clear liquor.

"It looks like blood," he explained as he poured a healthy amount of booze into his cup. I wrinkled my nose as the faint but unmistakable scent of vodka hit me. "You drinking tonight?"

"Do I ever?" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well, no, but I bet you could use a bit of fun."

"I can have fun sober."

"I know you can, I'm just saying you don't always have to be so responsible."

"Thank you for your concern, but tonight I'm driving so I _do_ have to be responsible."

Edward shrugged. "Suit yourself. You know who to come to if you change your mind," he said, taking a long drink.

From behind the cup, his eyes focused on something across the room. He convulsed, as if holding in an involuntary laugh, and quickly drew his drink away from himself.

"Here comes your Spartan. That really is quite the costume," he said, coughing away his laugh surreptitiously. A couple drops of his drink leaked out the corner of his mouth. It really did look like blood.

"Shut it, Doctor," I said, punching him in the shoulder, just as Mike reached us.

"Hey, Mike," said Edward, wiping his bloody chin.

"Yeah, Edward, hey. I need to talk to Bella, if you don't mind," Mike said, with a distinct edge to his voice on the last four words.

Not giving Edward the chance to respond, Mike grabbed me by my elbow and guided me away. We looked for a place to sit but every suitable surface was occupied, so we stood awkwardly next to the baby grand in the corner. Mike didn't say anything, he just sipped his beer and glared at Edward, who was now talking with Jasper.

"That was kind of rude, you know. I was in the middle of a conversation. What did you want to say to me that couldn't wait?"

"How did I know I'd find you talking to _him_?" he asked, ignoring my question.

I was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"I leave you for five seconds with Alice and Jasper, and when I come back you're gone. So I go up to Lauren and ask if she's seen you, and she says, 'Yeah, I'll give you one guess where she is.'"

"I…what? I was just talking to Edward. Why does it matter?"

"Because you're always _just talking_ to him. And when you're not, you're talking _about _him."

Mike took another long swig from his can as I gaped at him. I had no idea where this hostility was coming from—I highly doubted he was drunk already—but it was freaking me out. Still, I felt the urge to defend myself, so I crossed my arms and launched my counter-attack.

"If you want me to apologize, I'm not going to. God forbid I take a few minutes to talk to my best friend at a party."

When Mike's only response was a huff and eye-roll, I continued. "I don't know why you're still so insecure about my friendship with Edward."

"It's kind of hard not to be when you spend all your free time with him and not me."

"Don't be ridiculous! I see you as often as I can; it's not my fault you're so busy with basketball," I said, glancing around to see if anyone was listening in. The music must have been loud enough to drown us out, because everyone in the vicinity seemed fully engrossed in their partying.

"And have you ever once come to a game of mine? Even a home game?"

I faltered. "No…but you know I don't like sports."

"It shouldn't matter. You should want to support me."

"If this is about me being your cheerleader, I can start going to games. But can we talk about this later?" I asked.

The last song had ended and a quieter, slower paced one was now playing. Our voices were now audible to those further than a couple feet from us, and people were definitely staring. I felt my face grow hot.

"No, we can't. I want to talk about this now, while we actually have the chance to be face-to-face."

"Fine," I said. "Please tell me what it is that's making you act this way."

"I don't think you like me half as much as I like you."

I wasn't expecting that. Underneath Mike's raised voice and angry expression was a tinge of sadness.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You know how much I like you."

"No, I really don't. You never say it and you certainly never show it apart from the occasional kiss. At first I figured you just weren't the affectionate type, but then I see how you are around _him_, and now I'm starting to think it must just be me."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"You should see the way you look at him, Bella. I feel like I'm constantly competing for your affection, and I'm tired of always coming in second."

The music completely stopped. All eyes—and ears—were on us.

"Mike, please…can we go somewhere private?" I reached for his hand but he jerked it away.

"No. I don't care who hears this; in fact, I hope they all do, since it might clear up some confusion. See, everyone in school talks about you and Edward. They've always said there was something more there, but I just chalked it up to lame high school rumors. Now, though, I'm finally starting to see what they were talking about. I mean, it's kind of hard not to.

"I gave it one last shot with the college thing. I thought if we could only last until next year, maybe we could get away from everyone and things would be fine, but it's obvious you aren't interested in that. I can't—I can't be made a fool of any longer."

I was silent. I couldn't believe he was saying these things, especially with an audience hanging on his every word.

"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked quietly. Tears of hurt and humiliation pricked at my eyes but did not fall.

"Yes, Isabella Swan, I am doing what I should have done long ago. I'm breaking up with you. Now you can finally be with the guy you've wanted all along."

I didn't want to stick around to hear any more so I turned and bolted for the kitchen. The silence of the classmates and strangers I passed was deafening.

The room wasn't empty; someone was rummaging around in the fridge, but I slumped down in one of the antique chairs surrounding the kitchen table anyhow. A solitary tear rolled down my cheek but I wiped it away before it could go too far.

_No. No way in hell am I crying over Mike Newton, not after he humiliated me like that._

"Conner, get lost," said Alice, who has just pushed through the swinging door. Conner stood up from the fridge with a start, saw the venomous look on Alice's face, and exited hastily.

"Bella, are you okay?" She sat next to me and placed her hand over mine. I was grateful for the comfort.

"I thought we were fine. I didn't think he would ever embarrass me like that."

Her eyes softened. "Oh, honey, I know. He's a jerk. Don't worry, we all know what he said was a lie."

I cringed a little. _I guess I wasn't as good at keeping my feelings a secret as I thought if Mike managed to catch on._

"Do you want to go home? I could get Jasper to drive you if you don't feel up to it."

"As tempting as that sounds, I think I'll have much more trouble living this down if I run away."

Edward burst in and strode over to us, his fists clenched tightly. "I'm going to kill him."

Alice positioned herself between me and Edward with one hand on his chest. "I don't think you should be here right now."

"No, wait," I said, standing up and lowering Alice's arm. "Edward…I think I'd like that drink now."

-x-

Alcohol. It's not so bad, really. My only prior experiences with it had been a bit of champagne at Renée and Phil's wedding and the rare half-a-beer at a party when my hands felt empty. I'd certainly never been close to drunk.

Until now.

It started slowly, with a slight numbness in my extremities and lightheadedness. I didn't realize what was happening at first; the vodka and cranberry drinks Edward was making for me tasted so delicious, I probably never would have guessed how strong they were.

But it was working. I was no longer upset over my recent heartbreak and public humiliation. All my hurt feelings were gone, replaced by an incredible surge of energy.

Alice and I were alone in the kitchen now, Edward having left for a bathroom break. It was easier without him there; I could hardly stand to look him in the eyes knowing he'd heard everything Mike had said. I finished my drink and stood up from the kitchen table. I wavered a little and clung to the back of my chair for support.

Nothing ever got past Alice. "Are you okay to stand?"

I let go of the chair and took a couple baby steps. "Yeah, I'm fine. No, I'm great! I think I'm going to go dance. You go be an awesome hostess, I'll be okay."

I walked into the living room which was more packed than ever. I looked at my watch: 11:37. Anyone that was coming to the party was here now. I made a beeline for the centre of the makeshift dance floor, but when I passed by a tall, muscular figure I did a double-take.

"Jacob!" I screamed as I flung myself into his arms. "I can't believe you're here! Oh my god!"

Jacob laughed heartily as he released himself from my embrace. "I sure am. And you sure are drunk."

"Who? Me? No!" I objected. At the raise of his eyebrow, I said in a stage-whisper, "Maybe a little. Don't tell!"

He laughed again. "Your secret's safe with me, Bells."

"Where's your costume?"

Jacob held up his hands. He was wearing plastic gloves with retractable claws. "I got kind of lazy this year, so I just picked these up from the toy store. I'm Wolverine, get it?"

"I love it!" I grabbed his arm and led him to the table against the wall. "Let's get you a drink."

"Thanks but no thanks, I'm driving tonight. And—wait, didn't I see your shiny new car parked out front?"

_Oops._ "Oh no, I totally forgot! Jacob, what am I going to do? I can't drive like this, I'll crash into a ditch and kill myself! I don't want to be a statistic!" I giggled as I stumbled over the last word.

"Don't worry about it, I'll make sure you get home safe. Feel free to drown your sorrows."

I stopped laughing and looked at him. There was pity in his eyes. "You heard what happened?"

Jacob looked guilty as he scratched the back of his head. "Well…yeah. I couldn't help it, you're kind of the topic of everyone's conversation tonight."

I looked around the room and my face fell. It was dark, but I could still see more people staring in my direction and whispering than I could count on both hands. With only the slightest hesitation, I grabbed a Jell-o shot from the table and pounded it back.

Jacob and the gawkers looked shocked. I grinned, grabbed Jake's hand, and exclaimed, "I love this song!" before dancing our way to the middle of the crowd.

-x-

Some time after dancing with Jacob—_Hah, I bet _that_ started some rumours_—I found myself in the dining room with some people I didn't know. Old Bella was wary of strangers, but _this_ Bella was excited to make new friends.

They were two brothers; Caius and Aro, they said. I told them they had weird names and they laughed and said their parents were very traditional Italian immigrants. Truth be told, I didn't care where they were from or what they were called. They didn't know who I was, or who Mike Newton was. And that's all that mattered.

Plus, they were teaching me how to do tequila shots.

After my second, I had it down to a science. Lick the salt, take the shot, bite the lime. It hardly even burned my throat.

"Wow, are you sure this is your first time doing this?" Caius asked, obviously impressed by my liquor handling skills.

"Mmhmm!" I nodded, unable to form actual words on account of the lime wedge I was sucking on.

"You're a natural," said Aro, taking what was left of the lime from my mouth and placing it on the table. "In fact, I think you might be ready for level two."

"Level two?"

"That's right. Don't you think so, Caius?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure if she's ready quite for that yet."

"What's level two? I can handle it," I said indignantly, looking from side to side at the two. "Let me do it!"

Caius shrugged. "If you say so. Come here, sweetie."

He took my shoulders and twisted until I was sitting sideways in my chair, with my back against his chest.

"What do I need to do?" I asked as Caius moved my hair to one side, exposing my neck.

Old Bella would have suspected something was fishy, but _this_ Bella liked to go with the flow. This Bella was just having fun at a party and not feeling feelings.

"Nothing, this one is easy. Just sit there and look pretty, _mia bella ragazza_."

I giggled. "My name's Bella, you know."

"How fitting."

Aro shook some salt onto my neck, in the hollow above my collarbone, as Caius put a new slice of lime between my lips, flesh-side out.

When Aro unzipped my jacket I felt like I should protest, but the tequila was kicking in and I felt like a big pile of mush, unable to move or think. Caius sniffed my hair and stroked my side and it was all rather relaxing, if not somewhat unnerving.

I finally figured out what level two was when Aro rested a shot glass full of amber liquid between my breasts. I was suddenly very, very glad to not be wearing a top that bared much cleavage.

Aro grabbed me roughly by the waist and swooped in, dragging his tongue slowly along my neck and groaning slightly.

I closed my eyes, not caring to watch this man drink from my _décolletage_, but I felt only a second of his hot breath against my chest before a shout and loud crash interrupted the game.

When my eyes flew open I saw three things all at once: Caius, who was now standing next to his brother and looking equal parts pissed and scared, Aro, who was clutching his jaw and looking furious, and Edward, who had just shook out his hand and was now lifting Aro by his collar.

"I don't know who the fuck you two are but you need to get. The fuck. Out," Edward said through gritted teeth. "Now."

That was all Aro and Caius needed. They bolted from the room, not even bothering to grab the rest of their liquor, and I heard the front door open and close a second later.

"Jesus, Bella." Edward sighed and sat next to me, gingerly removing the tequila and lime from my person. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? I was looking everywhere for you."

"You…saved me," I said, stunned.

"Yeah. I did." His tone was terse, angry with me for getting myself into such a mess.  
"What were you thinking, sitting in here, in the dark with these guys? They were taking advantage of you; who knows how far they'd have gone if I hadn't shown up."

I looked at my lap, embarrassed. "I was thinking I needed to get away from everyone who knew me. I'm sorry," I said in a tiny voice. I felt like an idiot; a weakling who couldn't even take care of herself in an obviously dangerous situation.

Edward exhaled slowly and ran both hands through his hair. He'd lost his coat and stethoscope at some point and was now just in the navy scrubs. He looked good in blue. "Shit, Bella. Don't be. You've been through enough tonight without beating yourself up over this."

"I think I need some air."

"Come on, let's go out back."

He took my hand and led me out through the kitchen and onto the back porch. We sat on a couch in silence, both staring at our hands clasped together on his lap.

"I'm dizzy."

"Come here; close your eyes." He moved my head to his shoulder with one hand, then wrapped that arm tightly around me once I was safely nuzzled in the crook of his neck. I shut my eyes, willing my mind to stop spinning around in circles. I focused on anything I could. Edward's shirt soft against my cheek. The gentle weight of his head leaning against mine. His messy hair tickling my forehead, just slightly. His hand, strong and warm, large enough that just the one was able to hold both of mine. The clean smell of his skin with its mixed scent of soap and slight natural musk. Time passed; I wasn't sure how long we sat there, comfortably entwined, but I knew I would be perfectly content to never move again.

"This sucks," I slurred into his neck.

Edward stroked my hair with his free hand. "Shh, it'll all be okay. Newton is a jackass."

"Noooo, you don't get it!" I groaned, pulling my head up. "It's not about Mike, it was never about Mike."

Edward looked confused. _God, he's even cute when he's clueless._ Not breaking eye contact, I turned my hand over and laced my fingers through his. I unconsciously shifted my weight and it brought us even closer.

A chill shot down my spine. I was sure he could feel my shallow breath against his face and hear my heart hammering at my ribcage. I couldn't stand keeping my eyes on his any longer, yet I was terrified that if I looked away or closed them it would all be over and this—whatever this was—would never happen. I memorized his eyes, drowning in them, clinging to every tiny fleck of gold as if it were a life preserver in a sea of guacamole. _Mmm…guacamole… Focus, Bella!_ Everything was in slow motion as he placed his hands gently on either side of my face and removed the glasses that had somehow managed to stay on all night. Instinctively, I ran my tongue over my top lip.

All of a sudden, time sped up. In an instant Edward's lips were on mine; my hands flew to the back of his head and I grabbed at his hair, trying to pull him impossibly closer. Everything was spinning again, this time in no part due to the alcohol coursing through my veins.

_So, this is heaven. How is it that I feel like I've never been kissed before this? Is he licking my lip? Oh god, now he's sucking on it. This is too much, I can't handle this, I hope it never ends—_

"Bella," Edward mumbled against my mouth.

"Mmmm," was my non-response.

His hands slid from my face to my shoulders, and before I knew it he was pushing me away. Or maybe he was pushing himself off of me?

Edward looked me in the eyes, his brows scrunched up in some indiscernible emotion. Pain? Sadness? ...Regret? "Bella, I...we can't do this."

_Oh no. Oh no no no no no. I've been single for just over an hour and already I'm throwing myself at my best friend. My _unavailable_ best friend! What is _wrong_ with me? _

With the realization of what had just occurred hitting me like a train, I was struck with several feelings in quick succession, each one stronger and more unpleasant than the last: Embarrassment. Nausea. Guilt. Then, the worst of all: Rejection. It grew harder and harder to keep it together with very millisecond that passed. I had to get out of there and I had to do it fast. "Oh god. I'm so sorry. I can't—I shouldn't—I have to go."

I managed to make my exit with a modicum of dignity. I flew through the doors and into the kitchen, pushed past someone—Lauren? Did it matter?—and ran into the living room. I paused at the edge of the crowded makeshift dance floor and allowed a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. The music blared, upbeat and electronic, and no one seemed to notice the dying girl amongst them. I weaved my way through my drunken peers, toward the front door and freedom.

_Don't cry yet. Don't cry yet. Don't cry yet._

I thought I heard my name being called, but the throbbing bass drowned it out. When I finally reached the edge of the crowd, a hand grabbed mine and brought me to a halt.

It was Jasper. He looked concerned as he kneeled down to my level and searched my face. "Bella? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

That was it. I was done. I felt the first tear spill from my eye and down my cheek. "No," I whispered, my eyes wide and shining.

Jasper straightened up determinedly and led me straight out the front door and onto the thankfully deserted veranda, calling over his shoulder for Alice.

I stumbled over to the cushioned bench and sat down with my arms crossed on my legs and my head on my arms. I no longer had the strength to keep the tears at bay, so I let them come. Jasper sat next to me and soothingly rubbed my back. Before long, Alice joined us and took my other side.

"Bella? Tell us what's wrong, please," she said, her voice full of worry. She had never seen me cry before.

I sat up and took a couple deep breaths in an attempt to curb my sobbing. "Edward."

"What did he do? Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head. My words were barely audible. "I…I kissed him."

Alice and Jasper traded glances. _They probably think I'm pathetic. Scratch that, they _know_ I'm pathetic._

"Did he kiss you back?" Alice asked.

"Of course not. He had to practically shove me off of him." I cringed at the hazy memory. "I was too drunk, and he sat with me, which was nice, but then I kissed him and screwed everything up. You guys, he's never going to talk to me again." My chest felt tight at that thought.

"Don't be silly, of course he is! You have been friends for far too long to have it end over such a little thing. Trust me, you'll see everything clearer when you're sober again. Speaking of, I should grab you some water. Hold tight."

When Alice returned, tall glass in hand, she announced apologetically that someone had thrown up and, as the hostess, she needed to make sure they were alright. She disappeared into the house once more, leaving Jasper and I alone in the cold night air. I took a small sip of water that quickly turned into me chugging half the glass in one go. I hadn't realized how thirsty I was.

"Mike…shit. I'm such a bitch," I said, remembering what had set the night's events into motion.

"Now, that's just crazy. What could you have possibly done to make him say those things to you? And in front of everyone you know, no less. No one deserves that, least of all you. You're one of the kindest people I know."

Jasper was so sweet. His presence had a pleasant calming effect, but as much as I'd like to believe him, I knew I'd deserved what I got tonight.

"It was true, though," I whispered, fresh tears coursing down my face. "Everything he said about Edward was true."

"You mean, you really do like him?" At my nod, he let out a low whistle. "Well, that complicates things. Still, it's nothing you can't handle. You're stronger than you think."

"Everything was going fine. I was happy with Mike, and even though I had some…confusing feelings about Edward, I was managing quite well."

Jasper cocked his head and stared at me. "That's no way to live life. You can't be too scared to go after the things you really want. I say, good for you for taking charge and making a move."

I hiccupped. "But he's taken. I'm not about to try to be the other woman—I want to be _the_ woman."

"I'm not saying you should. I'm just saying it's not the end of the world. Things have a way of falling into place, but sometimes you just need to sit back and let things work themselves out."

I brought my feet onto the couch and curled them underneath my butt. It was raining now, and quite cold. I felt heavy and tired.

"You know, we've never really talked before," I said. "I like it."

Jasper grinned, flashing the infamous dimple that Alice loved so much. "Yeah, this is nice. Maybe next time you'll be sober and not in tears."

I would have replied, but I was already drifting to sleep.

* * *

**Ahhh! **So much took place in this chapter. What did you think of Mike's outburst? Bella's binge drinking? The _kiss_? And isn't Jasper just the sweetest? Haha. I'm eager to hear your thoughts!

There's also a few new outfits up on my Polyvore account (the Halloween costumes!), please visit my profile for the link!


	8. Chapter 8

When I woke up early Sunday afternoon I had no recollection of the previous night's events. I had no idea why my mouth was so dry or why I felt entirely unrested and slightly nauseous. And why was I still in my costume?

As soon as I stood up and nearly toppled right back into bed it all came rushing back. The fight. The vodka. The creepy Italian boys. The _kiss._

I groaned and contemplating going back to sleep, possibly for a week or more, depending on how long it took everyone, including me, to forget what had happened. Unfortunately, the disgusting, pasty taste in my mouth forced me to get up and face the world.

After I'd changed into some sweats and had a quick pee and a thorough tooth and tongue brushing, I went downstairs to get something in my aching, hungry stomach. I was feeling pretty good considering how much I had drank last night and I was semi-impressed with myself until I reached the bottom of the stairs and saw Charlie sitting at the kitchen table, arms outstretched with palms flat on the surface and an unamused look on his face.

"Good afternoon, Isabella."

I froze. I couldn't remember the last time he had called me by my full first name. This was not going to be pretty.

"Morning, Dad," I replied tentatively.

"How was your night?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

I didn't know what he knew, but I knew he must have had some dirt on me. Still, I wasn't going to give anything up.

"It was alright." I crossed the kitchen and poured myself the last bit of coffee, trying to come off as nonchalant and innocent as possible.

"When did you get home?"

"Umm…" I blanked. I tried to remember how or when I got home—I knew I couldn't have driven myself—but my mind was failing me.

Charlie, on the other hand, had all the answers. "Can't remember? That's okay, I can fill in the blanks. It was a little after two in the morning. I know this because I had just arrived home myself."

I swallowed hard and turned, forgetting about my coffee, to face him. He had seen me come home. What could I possibly say to save myself?

"Tell me, Isabella, how do you think it feels for a father to come home after a long night at work, only to have his 17-year-old daughter come through the door moments later, being carried by her friends because she is passed out drunk?"

My mouth fell open. _Really? I had to be carried in?_ I briefly considered asking who the friends accompanying me were, but decided—wisely—to stay silent.

Charlie exhaled and cradled his head in his hands. "You've never been trouble before. Straight As, no detentions, never even so much as a missed curfew. What do you have to say for yourself?"

I felt terrible. Charlie was such a good dad, and his job was so tough; he was in charge of protecting the town, he shouldn't have to worry about me, too.

I spoke meekly. "I'm sorry, Dad. I…I'd never drank before and I wasn't planning on drinking at all, but then Mike and I got into a fight and he broke up with me in a really public and humiliating way and…I know that's no excuse. I have no idea what I was thinking."

"Mike broke up with you?" He sounded surprised.

"Yeah."

"Mike…broke up with _you_." Not a question this time, but a confused statement.

"Yes. Out of nowhere. Loudly. In front of everyone."

"Bells,"—there it was, my nickname. Was he softening?—"I'm sorry he hurt you. I was never the biggest fan of him, but the way that boy worshipped you! I would have never guessed he'd ever have the guts…" He trailed off, his angry expression replaced by one that was slightly more sympathetic.

"Look, I'm not going to lie to you. I can relate. After your mother up and left, taking you with her, I—well, I was in a dark place. We were dealing with a lot of wildlife attacks down at the station at the time and work was depressing, to say the least. When I couldn't even come home to a warm house with my family there to lift my spirits, I fell into some bad habits. I didn't know how to handle my boredom and depression, so I kept myself occupied by drinking. I was lucky to have a good friend in Billy Black. He saw where I was headed and reminded me that I had you to think about, even if you weren't around often. No way in hell was your mother going to let you stay with me for holidays if I became some loser drunk."

I didn't know what to say. I'd never known any of this. Charlie rarely spoke about the months surrounding Renée's departure, let alone any brushes with alcoholism. It broke my heart to think of him as anything other than his gruff but strong self.

I swallowed thickly. "…I had no idea."

"It's in the past, and I don't care much for talking about the past. I just wanted you to know that so you'd understand why I'm not going to forget this. When I saw you in Jacob's arms it scared me half to death."

So it had been Jacob that had brought me home. I vaguely remembered him saying he'd make sure I got home safely. I'd have to bake him a cake or twelve as a thank you.

"Am I grounded?"

"For a month. And I think I'll be having a chat with Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. I'm assuming they weren't home while this party was taking place?"

"No—please, don't! I don't want Alice and Edward to get into trouble just because I messed up. It wasn't a rager of a party or anything, just a few people, and I was the only one who took things too far." I started to panic. Alice and Edward would be _pissed_ if I took them down with me, as would everyone else who liked to party at their place.

Charlie thought about it for a minute as I worried my lower lip nearly to the point of bleeding. "I'll make you a deal. I'll keep my mouth shut, but your house arrest is extended another two weeks. The punishment will be lifted when winter break starts."

I tried not to let him see how relieved I was by this, for fear of him realizing he could have gotten away with a lot more. "That's fair," I said glumly. "I guess I'll go get better acquainted with my room."

I made for the stairs, stopping at the bottom when Charlie called to me.

"Bella? I really am sorry about you and Mike."

"Thanks, Dad. So am I."

I decided to take a shower to wash the night off of me. When I stepped into the water—just a few degrees below scalding—I started to cry. Not just a few silent tears and not the heaving sobs I'd let out last night, just pathetic, self-pitying blubbering. I couldn't believe how everything had fallen to pieces over the course of a few hours.

I felt terrible about how things had ended with Mike. Never in a million years would I have wanted my stupid crush on Edward to result in Mike getting hurt. I knew he'd been right to break up with me. I'd never been a great liar; what was I thinking when I tried to hide my real feelings?

I was alone now. _Really_ alone. I'd embarrassed myself in front of all my classmates and who knows how many others. Charlie was disappointed in me, Mike loathed me, and the thought of having to face Edward made my palms sweat and my stomach turn. I knew I'd ruined any possible chance of a future relationship with him, but what would I do if we couldn't even go back to being friends? No one knew me as well has he did and I did not relish the thought of having to start over with someone new.

When I was toweled off and back in my room I checked my phone for messages. There were two new texts and five new voicemails. The texts were from this morning, with Alice and Jacob both asking how I was feeling. All of the voicemails were unintelligible; they'd been recorded at the party and I could only make out faint voices over the loud music. I scrolled through my missed calls and deduced they were from Alice, Jacob, Jessica, Angela, and Alice again.

I shivered. My damp hair was now chilled and clinging uncomfortably to my neck and shoulders. Climbing back into bed, I dialed Jacob's number.

"Hello?"

"It's me."

"Holy shit, Bella! How are you feeling? Are you alright?"

I blushed. He sounded so worried. "Yeah, I'm fine. Tired, but otherwise okay. Um, my dad said you brought me home last night, and…thanks."

"Your dad told you…" he trailed off, seemingly deep in thought. "Wait, you don't remember?"

My cheeks burned hotter. "No. I don't remember anything past talking to Jasper on the veranda."

"Oh, wow. I guess I should fill you in, but you didn't really miss much. After you fell asleep Alice found me and asked if I could take you home. It was getting late anyways, so of course I said I would. I drove you in your car and Leah followed behind in mine—"

"Leah?" I interrupted. "Who's Leah?"

Jacob laughed. "Man, you really must have been out of it! Leah is my girlfriend. I totally introduced you two."

My jaw dropped. How could I have completely forgotten meeting my oldest friend's new girlfriend? "Oh, I'm so sorry! What a first impression… How come I haven't heard about her until now—um, last night?"

"It just happened last week. I've known her all my life but we only started spending time together this year. But anyways, let me continue my story."

"Right, right, go on. What happened when we got to my place?"

"Well, things were okay until your dad got home. I had just got you in the door and I was taking your shoes off when he came in. He was pretty pissed. I tried to tell him you were just tired, but I guess he's seen one too many drunk teenagers to ever believe that story. He told me to make sure you slept on your side and then he went upstairs. Guess he didn't want to have to deal with it just then. Did you see him this morning?"

"Sure did. He lectured me on the dangers of alcohol and I'm grounded 'till winter break, but I'm lucky I got off that easy."

"Not bad! My dad would've, I dunno, ran me over with his wheelchair and kept me chained up in the yard like a dog."

I laughed. "I'd pay to see that. Anyways, I gotta give Alice a call. I bet she's pretty worried by now. Thanks again for…everything. I owe you."

"Hey, what are friends for? We'll have to get together soon; maybe you can even meet Leah. Again. I'll call you."

We hung up and I went back to my contacts list to call Alice. I hesitated as I hovered over her name, unsure of what I would say. Finally I took the plunge and hit the call button.

"Bella? Oh my God, I've been worried sick!"

We quickly filled each other in on what the other had missed last night, carefully avoiding the subject of the disastrous kiss. My curiosity got the better of me, though, however masochistic it was.

"So, uh…have you talked to Edward?"

Alice sighed. "No. Not yet, anyways. He hasn't left his room all day. I think he's…struggling with what happened between you two."

A tear slid down my cheek and, even though no one would see if I cried, I quickly wiped it away. "Do you know if…do you think he's told his girlfriend?"

"I have no idea. Probably not."

"God, I really ruined everything, didn't I?" My voice wavered.

"Don't say that! Things are going to work out. You'll see; in a few months we'll all be laughing about this."

"I wish I could believe you. I just want to forget the party ever happened. Things seemed so simple just twenty-four hours ago." I took a shaky breath and rapidly blinked to clear the tears from my eyes. I did not want to cry any more today.

"I know," she said, her voice full of sympathy. "I know."

-x-

Later—months later, when everything had been resolved and I was more or less my carefree self once more—I reflected upon that first Monday back at school. Even then, with my perfect 20/20 hindsight, I couldn't tell if it went better or worse than I'd expected.

I got to school early so as to avoid any awkward run-ins in the hall. I knew there would have to be a couple uncomfortable conversations today, but to have them before I was even fully awake would be akin to cruel and unusual punishment.

Monday mornings were nearly Edward-free. Spanish and Calculus flew by, but then it was time for our free period and I knew it would be way too conspicuous if I were to hide out for the entire hour, as tempting as the thought was.

I gathered a couple books and made for the library. Maybe Edward wouldn't be there; maybe he'd be out grabbing a coffee or taking a nap in his car.

No such luck. As soon as I pushed through the turnstile at the entrance I saw him sitting at our usual table, and I knew he saw me too. He shifted upright in his seat when he saw me approaching and shut the textbook he had been flipping through.

_This is it. Just rip the band-aid off. You can do it. Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts._

"Hey," I ventured, sitting in the chair across from him. _This would be a lot easier if he didn't look so good._

"Hey." He looked nervous; his eyes didn't quite meet mine.

"So, uh…I guess we should…y'know. Talk."

"Yeah."

I bit my lip and fiddled with the cuff of my sleeve. _Time to dive in._

"Edward, God…I'm so sorry. I was such a drunk mess, and I guess I was feeling weak or whatever, and I took it out on you when you were just trying to be a friend. I don't know if I'll ever be able to live down the embarrassment I'm feeling right now but I just…I just want things to go back to normal." I spoke to the table, only looking up when I had finished and a couple beats of silence had passed.

Edward was staring at me with a blank, unreadable expression on his face. _Please say something, please say something, please say something._

"So you…want to forget the whole thing happened?" he finally asked.

I nodded. "I think that would be best. I mean, I wasn't myself. It's not like I would have done that sober." I caught myself before I winced at the lie.

Edward paused for a moment before smiling slowly. "Okay then. We're agreed. You were drunk, I was drunk, nothing happened. No one has to know; there weren't any witnesses, right?"

Although I was incredibly relieved things went so smoothly, I still felt a bit stung by the way Edward had brushed my apology off so quickly. I don't know why I felt that way, as it was pretty much what I had expected, but still… I guess I couldn't quite let go of the fantasy, the thought that maybe, just maybe, he felt even an ounce of what I felt for him and that kiss had actually meant something.

-x-

I was glad to have my best friend back by the time the lunch bell rang, and even more glad that no one knew about what had happened between us. Things really could go back to normal.

Well, not quite.

"Bad news," Alice said as she and Jasper joined Edward and I in the lunch line.

"Uh-oh. What is it this time?" I asked, a ball of worry forming in my stomach. I was beginning to rethink the food I had on my tray.

Alice glanced at our usual table, which was already occupied by the rest of our friends.

"Mike's been doing damage control. He's pissed, Bella."

"What? Did he forget that he was the dumper in this situation?"

"Who knows. Fact is, he's got Tyler, Ben, and Eric on his side. You know, 'bros before hos' and all that." She rolled her eyes.

"What does it matter if those idiots are on Team Mike? It's not like we're very close with them," Edward scoffed.

Alice looked back at me with a grimace and suddenly I knew why this was such bad news.

"Because if he's got Tyler and Ben, he's got Lauren and Angela," I said.

"And Jessica, too," Jasper added with a sigh. "Sheep. All of them."

I shook my head. "No. No, it's okay. I can't blame them. A split was inevitable. I'm sure it's just temporary."

We sat at a table along the far wall, a healthy distance from Mike and his gang. I didn't let on, but I was hurt. I guess I should have seen it coming; I was pretty naïve to assume we'd all be able to instantly be pals again.

Mid-way through our meal, Alice nudged me. "Incoming."

I looked up and groaned inwardly when I saw Lauren approaching. _No good can come of this._

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Bella?"

"Um, sure," I replied warily. I scooted my chair away from the table and closer to Lauren, giving us a bit of privacy. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to talk to you about what happened at the party." She glanced towards my table and lowered her voice. "I wanted to let you know that your secret's safe with me."

I didn't know what she was talking about, but an anxious knot began to twist in my stomach. I raised an eyebrow.

"You know… You and Edward." I started to protest, but she raised her hand to silence me. "Don't bother denying it. I saw you throwing yourself at him on the porch. Now, I'm not one to judge, but some people might be quick to point out that such a display is rather inappropriate seeing as how Edward has a girlfriend and you had been single for all of what, five minutes? Especially when you'd already been dancing so closely with that Quileute boy. So I won't say anything. Because I _care_. Remember that."

With a wink and a smirk she was gone, sashaying back across the cafeteria. I turned back to my friends and sighed.

"Need some backup at the flagpole after school?" asked Edward. "'Cause I didn't bring my brass knuckles."

I couldn't help but smile. "Nah, it was nothing. Just Lauren being her usual charming self."

Alice looked concerned. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"A world of no."

I could feel Edward's curious gaze trying to catch my own but I wasn't having any of that. I was pretty sure he had no idea what Lauren had said to me and I decided to keep it to myself for the meantime. I knew Lauren wouldn't say anything unless provoked, and that might not be a challenge if I had limited contact with her.

I glanced over at my former lunch table. Everyone was chatting and laughing and generally getting along great without me.

_Yeah, it should be easy to stay away._


End file.
